tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-56662321552407654572024-03-04T20:50:12.834-08:00Bad Agent Sydney T. CatThe official blog of the world's worst (maybe) literary agent, Sydney T. Cat. Because ANYBODY can print up some cards and call themselves an agent. Even a cat. And if it isn't prohibited, then IT IS REQUIRED!J. Steven Yorkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00005909772287389627noreply@blogger.comBlogger87125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5666232155240765457.post-11889249199497113572015-02-19T00:47:00.000-08:002015-02-19T00:47:00.693-08:00Sydney Wisdom of the Day - Extrapolation<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyMBD-FJ86ceEkMLQjLz98yKYhyUzNtZMxKOOEJwS_vEDvjh6C2eIK0TCulPG_0_7-eNnADFDm4fuva7Z0en9_jidtZQp0OJFImgtLrJeeT26bfN-6BDZ_sIUpfIKI8QRtaE49fGnkKuQ/s1600-h/sydney-icon-purr.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyMBD-FJ86ceEkMLQjLz98yKYhyUzNtZMxKOOEJwS_vEDvjh6C2eIK0TCulPG_0_7-eNnADFDm4fuva7Z0en9_jidtZQp0OJFImgtLrJeeT26bfN-6BDZ_sIUpfIKI8QRtaE49fGnkKuQ/s200/sydney-icon-purr.JPG" /></a><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><i>Sydney:</i></b></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">Sydney does not like to do work. Submitting client's manuscripts: HARD! Cut into Sydney's nap time! But Sydney has time-tested Bad Agent technique to keep nasty work under control. Is called "Extrapolation."</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">Here, I show you how work. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">Right now Sydney is looking at rejection from one junior editor at major publishing house:</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><i>"Sorry. This is a great read and lots of fun, but left-handed pirate books aren't working for us right now. Right-handed privateers are more the rage right now. The writing is wonderful though, and we'd love to see more from this author."</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">From this, Sydney can extrapolate many things:</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">1. Nobody at this house will buy anything with left-handed pirates.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">1a. Or pirates.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">1b. Or left handed protagonists.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"></span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">2. Nobody at <i>ANY </i>house will buy anything with left-handed pirates.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">2a. Or pirates.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">2b. Or left handed protagonists.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">3. Also client cannot sell, and Sydney should give up on them (not really the subject of this post).</span></div>
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</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">So, anytime Sydney gets manuscript from ANY client with left-handed pirate, or pirate, or left-handed protagonist, or this client, is waste of Sydney's time and energy to send out. Goes in "ignore" pile to be professionally ignored for duration of emergency.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">This goes on, possibly for years, until that big left-handed pirate book that all the teenage girls love comes out, stays at top of Times list for six months. THEN Sydney send out (except for stuff from that worthless client), creating glut just in time to watch trend fizzle. Then can start sending out letters, "nobody buys left-handed pirate, or pirate, or left-handed books any more" again.</span></div>
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</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">This may not seem smart, lose Sydney money. But Sydney is not trend setter. Setting trends is <i>work.</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><i><br />
</i></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">Excuse me. I gots to go ignore some pirate books...</span></div>
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<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">PURRRR!</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><br />
</span></div>
<br />
Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU!<br />
Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post!<br />
<br />
While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that <span style="background-color: red;">ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!</span> Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have! Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and <span style="color: red;">ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!</span> Use this <a href="http://www.adoptapet.com/animal-shelters">LINK</a> to find shelter near you! <span style="background-color: red;">GO! AGENT SYDNEY SAYS!</span> <br />
<br />
<br />
If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!<br />
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J. Steven Yorkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00005909772287389627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5666232155240765457.post-78344471807698051542015-02-19T00:44:00.000-08:002015-02-19T00:45:08.484-08:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyMBD-FJ86ceEkMLQjLz98yKYhyUzNtZMxKOOEJwS_vEDvjh6C2eIK0TCulPG_0_7-eNnADFDm4fuva7Z0en9_jidtZQp0OJFImgtLrJeeT26bfN-6BDZ_sIUpfIKI8QRtaE49fGnkKuQ/s1600-h/sydney-icon-purr.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyMBD-FJ86ceEkMLQjLz98yKYhyUzNtZMxKOOEJwS_vEDvjh6C2eIK0TCulPG_0_7-eNnADFDm4fuva7Z0en9_jidtZQp0OJFImgtLrJeeT26bfN-6BDZ_sIUpfIKI8QRtaE49fGnkKuQ/s200/sydney-icon-purr.JPG" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><i>Sydney:</i></b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Clients, perhaps yo<span style="font-family: inherit;">u have noticed that your advances has been getting smaller! This is not Sydney's problem, and you is not Sydney's only client! Sydney is not about individual advances! Fifteen (wait, twenty!) percent of your advance is not much for Sydney, but this is okay! Sydney is about quantity, not quality! Fifteen percent (no, twenty!) of a lot of crappy advances will keep Bad Agent Sydney in the tunas!</span></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></b></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: inherit;">It is good to be me! (You, not so much.)</span></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></b></span>
<b> -PURRRRR!</b><br />
<br />
Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU!
Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post!
While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that <span style="background-color: red;">ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!</span> Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have! Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and <span style="color: red;">ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!</span> Use this <a href="http://www.adoptapet.com/animal-shelters">LINK</a> to find shelter near you! <span style="background-color: red;">GO! AGENT SYDNEY SAYS!</span>
If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
<br />
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J. Steven Yorkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00005909772287389627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5666232155240765457.post-53443744019387623342013-12-13T11:52:00.002-08:002014-01-17T16:24:24.153-08:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyMBD-FJ86ceEkMLQjLz98yKYhyUzNtZMxKOOEJwS_vEDvjh6C2eIK0TCulPG_0_7-eNnADFDm4fuva7Z0en9_jidtZQp0OJFImgtLrJeeT26bfN-6BDZ_sIUpfIKI8QRtaE49fGnkKuQ/s1600-h/sydney-icon-purr.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyMBD-FJ86ceEkMLQjLz98yKYhyUzNtZMxKOOEJwS_vEDvjh6C2eIK0TCulPG_0_7-eNnADFDm4fuva7Z0en9_jidtZQp0OJFImgtLrJeeT26bfN-6BDZ_sIUpfIKI8QRtaE49fGnkKuQ/s200/sydney-icon-purr.JPG" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><i>Sydney:</i></b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Good news! Sydney has just amended her 432 page agent/author agreement! </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Now not even death will separate you from Sydney's tender mercies! Now Sydney gets to <strike>play with</strike> <strike>screw</strike> <strike>rob </strike> help your estate too! This is good for you because you will be dead and will not see what Sydney is doing! Also good for you that you really didn't like all those relatives anyway, and now Sydney can screw with them for you when you are gone!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Is good to be me!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">PURRRRRRR!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<br />
Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU!
Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post!
While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that <span style="background-color: red;">ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!</span> Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have! Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and <span style="color: red;">ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!</span> Use this <a href="http://www.adoptapet.com/animal-shelters">LINK</a> to find shelter near you! <span style="background-color: red;">GO! AGENT SYDNEY SAYS!</span>
If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
<br />
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J. Steven Yorkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00005909772287389627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5666232155240765457.post-34207505049091826362013-11-26T04:08:00.002-08:002013-11-26T04:08:35.446-08:00Sydney is Feeling Better<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgF02hO5q0K93P75v0MPrJlvcop9PlSbQITeOeGYha7Hs4ohFlnN1huVzqZliRcsSG3d_C_U6ff_Q02c4kYwEkEDHHoPHhXTiVeF7CWXxu6XfOtQIhHCiaeUCSG2PqqLtlTafxW9I5w7WQ/s1600/IMG_20131126_010259301.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgF02hO5q0K93P75v0MPrJlvcop9PlSbQITeOeGYha7Hs4ohFlnN1huVzqZliRcsSG3d_C_U6ff_Q02c4kYwEkEDHHoPHhXTiVeF7CWXxu6XfOtQIhHCiaeUCSG2PqqLtlTafxW9I5w7WQ/s320/IMG_20131126_010259301.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sydney is feeling better, and we are all in trouble...</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><i>Steve:</i></b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I just realized that it's been a while since we made a post here. Just in case anyone was worrying, Bad Agent Sydney (or rather Sydney, the real cat who plays her on the internet) is well past her crisis and doing very well. She's on steroids for her breathing problems, and they seem to help quite a bit, but if anything, she is more cranky and willful than ever. And of course, she isn't good about taking her pills. She refuses Greenies pill pockets for some reason (despite loving regular Greenies like kitty-crack) and has learned to glup down a whole spoonful of tuna instantly while leaving the pill buried inside behind. Pretty much the only way to get it in her is to shove it down her throat with your finger and then rub her throat till she swallows it. As you can imagine, this goes poorly for all involved. But she is feeling better.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Last night in the living room she jumped into my lap, then stepped over onto my side table (where the Greenies jar and her hair brush are kept, along with less important stuff belonging to me, like my pad, phone, reading material, etc.) and proceeded to quite deliberately push things off onto the floor, then tried to break into the treat jar. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">When I took it away and gave her a couple treats before relocating it out of her reach, she went back to pushing things off, and then started pawing at her brush. Then I brushed her, which she enjoyed greatly, right up until the point at which she turned around and chomped my hand. I chased her back onto the floor, at which point she sat on the floor and burned holes in me with her eyes for the next twenty minutes.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">That's our Sydney!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU!
Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post!
While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that <span style="background-color: red;">ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!</span> Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have! Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and <span style="color: red;">ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!</span> Use this <a href="http://www.adoptapet.com/animal-shelters">LINK</a> to find shelter near you! <span style="background-color: red;">GO! AGENT SYDNEY SAYS!</span>
If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
<br />
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J. Steven Yorkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00005909772287389627noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5666232155240765457.post-12735555419662197562013-07-28T11:40:00.002-07:002013-07-28T11:40:43.652-07:00For The Record<b><span style="font-size: large;">Sub-Assistant Chris Here:</span></b><br />
Sydney instructed me to make two things clear to all her followers:<br />
<br />
1. Stoopid humans give her special foods but she disdains them. Wants cheap supermarket fishy treats, like you. Sydney is kitteh of the peoples. <br />
<br />
2, Though sickness requires more naps, Sydney is working <i>as hard as ever </i>for all her clients.<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyMBD-FJ86ceEkMLQjLz98yKYhyUzNtZMxKOOEJwS_vEDvjh6C2eIK0TCulPG_0_7-eNnADFDm4fuva7Z0en9_jidtZQp0OJFImgtLrJeeT26bfN-6BDZ_sIUpfIKI8QRtaE49fGnkKuQ/s1600-h/sydney-icon-purr.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyMBD-FJ86ceEkMLQjLz98yKYhyUzNtZMxKOOEJwS_vEDvjh6C2eIK0TCulPG_0_7-eNnADFDm4fuva7Z0en9_jidtZQp0OJFImgtLrJeeT26bfN-6BDZ_sIUpfIKI8QRtaE49fGnkKuQ/s200/sydney-icon-purr.JPG" /></a><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><i>Sydney:</i></b></span>
Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU!
Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post!
While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that <span style="background-color: red;">ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!</span> Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have! Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and <span style="color: red;">ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!</span> Use this <a href="http://www.adoptapet.com/animal-shelters">LINK</a> to find shelter near you! <span style="background-color: red;">GO! AGENT SYDNEY SAYS!</span>
If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
<br />
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Chrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02637010194234948441noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5666232155240765457.post-4051747701833787362013-07-26T14:31:00.002-07:002013-07-26T14:33:48.859-07:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyMBD-FJ86ceEkMLQjLz98yKYhyUzNtZMxKOOEJwS_vEDvjh6C2eIK0TCulPG_0_7-eNnADFDm4fuva7Z0en9_jidtZQp0OJFImgtLrJeeT26bfN-6BDZ_sIUpfIKI8QRtaE49fGnkKuQ/s1600-h/sydney-icon-purr.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyMBD-FJ86ceEkMLQjLz98yKYhyUzNtZMxKOOEJwS_vEDvjh6C2eIK0TCulPG_0_7-eNnADFDm4fuva7Z0en9_jidtZQp0OJFImgtLrJeeT26bfN-6BDZ_sIUpfIKI8QRtaE49fGnkKuQ/s200/sydney-icon-purr.JPG" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><i>Cat Assistant Steve here...</i></b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">I'm sad to report that Sydney, the real-life cat who has "played" the fictional Bad Agent Sydney </span><span style="font-size: large;">these past few years</span><span style="font-size: large;">, and who is the inspiration for her diva personality, is quite ill. She started sneezing and coughing a few days ago. It seemed to get better yesterday, then went the other way last night. She was quite warm and lethargic, and lost interest in her beloved Greenie treats, which scared me more than anything. We got her into the vet this morning as early as possible, and after $400 or so worth of tests (some of which we are admittedly waiting for results on), we still don't know what is wrong. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh65fOLPIk3rRyQkd6jxz9dgnljFoOaOS2dBF1Wzx-tEC9Gro-vbpaBvmGJN7H1esBarJnY4c6wlpU28zyVumSwHf2_-QeJyFwMvj6Cm0891jWCNCnS2mNU8jUcUksnwDT5C71z39CMxg8/s1600/IMG_5036.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh65fOLPIk3rRyQkd6jxz9dgnljFoOaOS2dBF1Wzx-tEC9Gro-vbpaBvmGJN7H1esBarJnY4c6wlpU28zyVumSwHf2_-QeJyFwMvj6Cm0891jWCNCnS2mNU8jUcUksnwDT5C71z39CMxg8/s320/IMG_5036.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">The X-Rays show that her lungs are congested, and she was running a temperature of 106 (101 is normal). It could be a whole shopping list of things, from treatable, to maintainable to fatal. We just don't know. They gave her injections of antibiotics and a fast-acting steroids and she is home now. We're watching her closely, making her comfortable, and hoping for improvement (and that maybe the test results will tell us more).</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Sydney could use your good thoughts right now. If you're feeling generous, you could help out her vet bills by buying her ebook, or making a donation at the button below. But it would be enough if you just go give your pet a hug right now. (And if you don't have a pet, go rescue one from your local shelter right away. Sydney would like that.)</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"> -Steve</span><br />
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Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU!
Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post!
While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that <span style="background-color: red;">ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!</span> Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have! Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and <span style="color: red;">ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!</span> Use this <a href="http://www.adoptapet.com/animal-shelters">LINK</a> to find shelter near you! <span style="background-color: red;">GO! AGENT SYDNEY SAYS!</span>
If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
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J. Steven Yorkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00005909772287389627noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5666232155240765457.post-87154649823674059992013-07-17T03:26:00.000-07:002013-07-17T03:26:04.606-07:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><i>Sydney:</i></b></span><br />
<br />
People ask the Sydney, "why do you not post more of your Bad Agent wisdoms on your blog?" Well, first of all, Sydney is lazy. Basically, from the end of last summer till now was all one, big, nap!<br />
<br />
Second of all, Sydney mostly reports here on her Bad Agent schemes, but Sydney is too lazy to come up with new ones. Sydney just copies ideas from other two-legged agents that she hears about! The thing is, other agents just don't come up with that many new ideas. Apparently all the old ideas for scams, schemes, screw-ups and rip-offs that Sydney has already written about work just fine! Writers is just as gullible as evers! It is <i>good </i>to be an agent!<br />
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That does not mean that agents does not come up with new schemes now and then. Sydney will try and pick up on some of them and report them, because just as much as Sydney is lazy, she is now also bored!<br />
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In the mean times, notice that Sydney is back to posting most weekdays on the Twitters! Be sure to follow her at <a href="http://www.twitter.com/badagentsydney" target="_blank">@badagentsydney</a> for your daily (sometimes, mostly) does of Sydney!<br />
<br />
Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU!
Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post!
While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that <span style="background-color: red;">ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!</span> Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have! Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and <span style="color: red;">ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!</span> Use this <a href="http://www.adoptapet.com/animal-shelters">LINK</a> to find shelter near you! <span style="background-color: red;">GO! AGENT SYDNEY SAYS!</span>
If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
<br />
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J. Steven Yorkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00005909772287389627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5666232155240765457.post-16984157199456326222012-08-11T16:33:00.003-07:002013-07-16T21:35:45.326-07:00You're a Keeper!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyMBD-FJ86ceEkMLQjLz98yKYhyUzNtZMxKOOEJwS_vEDvjh6C2eIK0TCulPG_0_7-eNnADFDm4fuva7Z0en9_jidtZQp0OJFImgtLrJeeT26bfN-6BDZ_sIUpfIKI8QRtaE49fGnkKuQ/s1600-h/sydney-icon-purr.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyMBD-FJ86ceEkMLQjLz98yKYhyUzNtZMxKOOEJwS_vEDvjh6C2eIK0TCulPG_0_7-eNnADFDm4fuva7Z0en9_jidtZQp0OJFImgtLrJeeT26bfN-6BDZ_sIUpfIKI8QRtaE49fGnkKuQ/s200/sydney-icon-purr.JPG" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><i>Sydney:</i></b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Dear Client:</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">You are a keeper! </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Noes, noes, stop with the jumping and clapping. Is not a good thing.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">See, "keepers" is what Sydney calls clients she has stopped working for, but simply not bothered to kick to the curb. Sydney does not return your calls. Sydney does not send out your manuscripts. Sydney does not pitch your books. Sydney just keeps you in her dusty files, taking up space, until you either go away, die, or somehow become valuable to her. And it is this last that is the ONLY reason Sydney keeps you around.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">How could that happen? Well, somebody could find an old copy of your manuscript behind an editor's desk , love it and make an offer. Maybe you could sell your own book by pitching it to editor at conference or workshop. Maybe your self-published novel will be a hit, making all your old, unsold-stuff hot. Maybe "Christian Sexy Zombie Babysitter Mysteries" will suddenly become major new publishing trend, and Sydney will suddenly have use for your book, "Who Ate the Baby's Brain, Probably Not My Hottie Boyfriend, But Maybe Me." other than using it to prop up old table-leg. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Could be anything, as long as doesn't not require any advance effort on Sydney's part. Is like a lottery ticket for Sydney, only cheaper. Does not even have to go to store, or even scratch off tickets like in McDonald's game (Sydney always shreds them with her little claws before she can read them anyway, kind of like your royalty statements).</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">So, probably you is worth nothing to Sydney, and nothing is all she will ever do for you. But maybe you will pay off like little Powerball, and Sydney will swoop in for her percentage, tell you you are wonderful, and then leave! Too bad you held out hope, and did not to fire the Sydney!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Is bad to be you.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">But is good to be me!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">PURRRRRRRRRR!</span><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i> Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU!
Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post! </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i> While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that <span style="background-color: red;">ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!</span> Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have! Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and <span style="color: red;">ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!</span> Use this <a href="http://www.adoptapet.com/animal-shelters">LINK</a> to find shelter near you! <span style="background-color: red;">GO! AGENT SYDNEY SAYS!</span> </i><br />
<br />
<br />
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J. Steven Yorkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00005909772287389627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5666232155240765457.post-9825042539635249642012-06-27T02:40:00.001-07:002012-06-27T02:40:55.287-07:00Science proves Sydney not just most important site on the Internet, Sydney IS the internets!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyMBD-FJ86ceEkMLQjLz98yKYhyUzNtZMxKOOEJwS_vEDvjh6C2eIK0TCulPG_0_7-eNnADFDm4fuva7Z0en9_jidtZQp0OJFImgtLrJeeT26bfN-6BDZ_sIUpfIKI8QRtaE49fGnkKuQ/s1600-h/sydney-icon-purr.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyMBD-FJ86ceEkMLQjLz98yKYhyUzNtZMxKOOEJwS_vEDvjh6C2eIK0TCulPG_0_7-eNnADFDm4fuva7Z0en9_jidtZQp0OJFImgtLrJeeT26bfN-6BDZ_sIUpfIKI8QRtaE49fGnkKuQ/s200/sydney-icon-purr.JPG" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><i>Sydney:</i></b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Dear Clients (and World):</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">For years, Sydney has been telling you she is more important than any of you. Now, thanks to Google labs, Sydney has SCIENTIFICAL PROOF of her importance. See, Google builds uber-smart, artificial-intelligence computer with 16,000 cores. (Sydney does not know what "cores" is, but number is impressive. When in doubt, Sydney <i>loves </i>to confuse clients with big numbers!) Google sets super-smart brain loose on internet to scan TEN MILLION (Look! Another number!) digital images to see what great wisdom it would learn.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">So, what does computer come back and say is sum total of internet, the answer to life, the cyberspaces, and everythings? Here it is:</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuxRVHjljyk0YA9gDyzbvRmgF0tx7EJvQO1l5g04VSLc1LT5z5xba6U_2AMzS9QeZOWUOt5wN-l-lKPzfmme1wjL9kbIarmfhKyQT-9ui4b_bgNMujoO-8vR2LL344XGpE8EW2PKTEB7U/s1600/li_catimage_NYT.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="352" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuxRVHjljyk0YA9gDyzbvRmgF0tx7EJvQO1l5g04VSLc1LT5z5xba6U_2AMzS9QeZOWUOt5wN-l-lKPzfmme1wjL9kbIarmfhKyQT-9ui4b_bgNMujoO-8vR2LL344XGpE8EW2PKTEB7U/s640/li_catimage_NYT.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yesses! It's ME!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-size: large;">Maybes you think this is big joke, but is not! Reads all about it yourself in the <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2012/06/26/technology/in-a-big-network-of-computers-evidence-of-machine-learning.html?_r=1&pagewanted=all" target="_blank">New York Times!</a></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">You may begin worshiping Sydney now! (What, you weren't already?) </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Being most important thing on internet is very tiring. Sydney will go take 86,400 seconds (See! Another number!) worth of naps now! Sorry clients! No work for you today!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Is good to be me!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">PURRRR!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU!
Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post!
While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that <span style="background-color: red;">ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!</span> Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have! Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and <span style="color: red;">ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!</span> Use this <a href="http://www.adoptapet.com/animal-shelters">LINK</a> to find shelter near you! <span style="background-color: red;">GO! AGENT SYDNEY SAYS!</span><br />
<br />
If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donation her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
<br />
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</form>J. Steven Yorkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00005909772287389627noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5666232155240765457.post-54454754770463012122012-03-01T12:18:00.001-08:002013-07-16T21:46:19.224-07:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyMBD-FJ86ceEkMLQjLz98yKYhyUzNtZMxKOOEJwS_vEDvjh6C2eIK0TCulPG_0_7-eNnADFDm4fuva7Z0en9_jidtZQp0OJFImgtLrJeeT26bfN-6BDZ_sIUpfIKI8QRtaE49fGnkKuQ/s1600-h/sydney-icon-purr.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyMBD-FJ86ceEkMLQjLz98yKYhyUzNtZMxKOOEJwS_vEDvjh6C2eIK0TCulPG_0_7-eNnADFDm4fuva7Z0en9_jidtZQp0OJFImgtLrJeeT26bfN-6BDZ_sIUpfIKI8QRtaE49fGnkKuQ/s200/sydney-icon-purr.JPG" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><i>Sydney:</i></b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Stupid clients: of COURSE Sydney knows far more about publishing contracts than you do. Sydney spends much times with contracts (she sleeps on top of piles of them all the time) and is an expert on law, even though she has never gone to law school or passed any bar or watched more than half an episode of "Boston Legal" without curling up in people's lap and falling asleeps!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Why? Because Sydney is AGENT! Went to Blogwart's School of Agenting, where after much teachings drank the magic Potion of Knowing and was issued mystical Contract Wand!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">HAHAHAHAHAHA! You writers will believe anything! Sydney loves using your imagination against you! Does not matter if Sydney went to imaginary and almost certainly not trademarked school or not! As with all things, writers believe that because Sydney calls herself "agent," she has magic powers, like Santa or Tooth Fairy! Sydney's phone calls are better than theirs. Sydney's letters are better than theirs. Sydney's mailings are better than theirs. And most CERTAINLY, all Sydney's knowings are better than theirs.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">So do not be coming to Sydney questioning "organ donation clause," or "do-not-resuscitate clause." Is just standard publishing boilerplate with no real meanings! Is above your pay-grade to understand! If it were important, Sydney would tell you so! Certainly you should NOT refer it to a lawyer -- or the FBI.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Now goes away!</i> Sydney has to go fill the bathtub with ice.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Is good to be me!</i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">PURRRRRRRRRRRRRR!</span><br />
<br />
Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU!
Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post!
While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that <span style="background-color: red;">ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!</span> Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have! Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and <span style="color: red;">ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!</span> Use this <a href="http://www.adoptapet.com/animal-shelters">LINK</a> to find shelter near you! <span style="background-color: red;">GO! AGENT SYDNEY SAYS!</span>
If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
<br />
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J. Steven Yorkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00005909772287389627noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5666232155240765457.post-4001747233917135502012-02-23T13:46:00.002-08:002012-03-07T01:26:54.445-08:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyMBD-FJ86ceEkMLQjLz98yKYhyUzNtZMxKOOEJwS_vEDvjh6C2eIK0TCulPG_0_7-eNnADFDm4fuva7Z0en9_jidtZQp0OJFImgtLrJeeT26bfN-6BDZ_sIUpfIKI8QRtaE49fGnkKuQ/s1600-h/sydney-icon-purr.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyMBD-FJ86ceEkMLQjLz98yKYhyUzNtZMxKOOEJwS_vEDvjh6C2eIK0TCulPG_0_7-eNnADFDm4fuva7Z0en9_jidtZQp0OJFImgtLrJeeT26bfN-6BDZ_sIUpfIKI8QRtaE49fGnkKuQ/s200/sydney-icon-purr.JPG" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><i>Sydney:</i></b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Words is money.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Sydney has been scooping up many writer's estates, and signing writers that is largely retired and is not keeping up with changes in publishing, offering to handle their back-lists. Scooping up like plump little mousies! Yum!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Sydney knows how to sell words (especially good words written by professional writers) by the pound, turning them into cash! Sydney has her own publishing company on side. (Oh! Whoopses! Is just publishing company that is just happens to be BESIDE Sydney. Is not connected! Oh, no, oh noes!) Anyway, this almost certainly unconnected company publishes all these words as ebooks and print-on-demand books! Only a little bit, because company does not do very good job on conversions or formattings or covers, but does not matter, because Sydney works in bulk!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Then, somehows (does not want to know how) bails of money fall into Sydney's mail-slot. KLUNK! There's anotherones!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Oh, wait! What is this envelope here under bail of money? Oh, is from publisher trying to buy rights to one of Sydney's estate books! Sydney has dealt with these bad peoples before! Wants to offer estate much more moneys than Sydney's bulk deal. More money for estate, but LESS FOR SYDNEY! THIS CANNOT STAND!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">But do not worries! Sydney has easy solution! Just does not pass deal along! Tells publisher to go away! But this new letter, they is asking for contact information for estate, so can take offer to them directly. WELL, SYDNEY WILL NOT TELL!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Does not have to.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Will just keep estate in dark, and feed them -- well, you knows!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">KLUNK!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Is good to me me!</i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">PURRRRRRRR!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<br />
Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU!
Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post!
While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that <span style="background-color: red;">ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!</span> Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have! Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and <span style="color: red;">ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!</span> Use this <a href="http://www.adoptapet.com/animal-shelters">LINK</a> to find shelter near you! <span style="background-color: red;">GO! AGENT SYDNEY SAYS!</span>
If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
<br />
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</form>J. Steven Yorkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00005909772287389627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5666232155240765457.post-66828777839089262792011-12-29T19:00:00.000-08:002011-12-29T19:00:43.464-08:00You May Already Be Bad Agent Sydney's Client!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyMBD-FJ86ceEkMLQjLz98yKYhyUzNtZMxKOOEJwS_vEDvjh6C2eIK0TCulPG_0_7-eNnADFDm4fuva7Z0en9_jidtZQp0OJFImgtLrJeeT26bfN-6BDZ_sIUpfIKI8QRtaE49fGnkKuQ/s1600-h/sydney-icon-purr.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyMBD-FJ86ceEkMLQjLz98yKYhyUzNtZMxKOOEJwS_vEDvjh6C2eIK0TCulPG_0_7-eNnADFDm4fuva7Z0en9_jidtZQp0OJFImgtLrJeeT26bfN-6BDZ_sIUpfIKI8QRtaE49fGnkKuQ/s200/sydney-icon-purr.JPG" /></a></div>
<b style="font-size: xx-large;"><i>Sydney:</i></b><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">All the times, people is asking Sydney if she is taking new clients, and if they can be Sydney's client! <i>All the times!</i> This, even though Sydney has this blog telling writers all the bad things she likes to do! Is good to be me! <i>Purrr!</i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">But to these peoples I say, how does you know you is not <i>already</i> Sydney's client? Sydney has found new thing! All Sydney has to do is make some kind of contact with writer. Could be email, or over-the-transom submission, or something handed to Sydney at writer's conference, if she went to writer's conferences, which she never does. Anyway, all Sydney needs is to get hold of manuscript or proposal or pitch, or even just find out about submission writer has <i>already</i> made to publisher.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Then all Sydney has to do is keep writer hanging while she secretly sweeps in and takes over property! Sydney can shop to publishers, chase foreign rights, even movie or TV rights, and tell writer nothing! Even easier, if writer has already done much of the work!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Good thing is, Sydney has no obligations to "client!" Does not have to return calls, or listen to their silly prattling about how they wants their work handled! No agreements of any kind! Sydney does what Sydney wants! And if Sydney can not sell work, is not stuck with useless writer cluttering up her client list! Far as they is concerned, they was never Sydney's client at all! </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">But if Sydney does sell, then if Sydney does sell, most writers treats Sydney like hero! Every once in while though, some silly writer complains that Sydney has sold property she had no rights to represent! Some silly peoples says it is almost like stealing! The nerves!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">But, Sydney is just cute little cat (agent)! Everybody forgives Sydney! Sydney does not care if some stupid writers goes away mad. They was never Sydney's client anyway!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Is good to be me!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><b>PURRRRRRRRRR!</b></i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span><br />
Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU!
Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post!
While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that <span style="background-color: red;">ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!</span> Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have! Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and <span style="color: red;">ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!</span> Use this <a href="http://www.adoptapet.com/animal-shelters">LINK</a> to find shelter near you! <span style="background-color: red;">GO! AGENT SYDNEY SAYS!</span>
If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!<br />
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</form>J. Steven Yorkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00005909772287389627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5666232155240765457.post-7960965482792348802011-12-10T22:59:00.001-08:002011-12-11T00:37:51.096-08:00Bad Agent Wisdom: Sydney is Neither Conflicted Nor Interested!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyMBD-FJ86ceEkMLQjLz98yKYhyUzNtZMxKOOEJwS_vEDvjh6C2eIK0TCulPG_0_7-eNnADFDm4fuva7Z0en9_jidtZQp0OJFImgtLrJeeT26bfN-6BDZ_sIUpfIKI8QRtaE49fGnkKuQ/s1600-h/sydney-icon-purr.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyMBD-FJ86ceEkMLQjLz98yKYhyUzNtZMxKOOEJwS_vEDvjh6C2eIK0TCulPG_0_7-eNnADFDm4fuva7Z0en9_jidtZQp0OJFImgtLrJeeT26bfN-6BDZ_sIUpfIKI8QRtaE49fGnkKuQ/s200/sydney-icon-purr.JPG" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><i>Sydney:</i></b></span><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Yesterday reporter was by to talk to Sydney about her new "ebook pre-printification" program for clients. (We does not call it "publishing" silly peoples!) </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Works like this: Sydney sends client's books to "trained pre-printification specialists" in third-world country where orphans format into ebooks in exchange for handful of rice and moldy dates. Then Sydney does the <i>backbreaking </i>job of uploading files to Amazon, Barnes & Nobel and other sites! (Just kiddings! Sydney has orphans do that part too!)</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">For this, Sydney takes only standard 20% of whatever sales she decides to report to clients, whenever she decides to report it! Clients all think Sydney is hero! (Because this is what Sydney tells them to think, and clients mostly thinks what Sydney tells them to think! Sydney LOVES this business!)</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">So, this reporter asks if Sydney Agency can possibly to the kind of professional job traditional New York publishers can! SYDNEY IS ALL OVER THIS! Sydney points out how sloppy and error filled many New York ebooks is! Then Sydney explains to reporter moron how, after takes New York housing prices and cost of living into effect, SYDNEY'S ORPHANS ACTUALLY PAID MORE THAN THEIR EDITORS! PURRR!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Sydney knows she made impression on reporter, because they was writing very fast, and kept breaking pencils! Also how their left eye kept twitching!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">So, yes, Sydney has been in press dissing traditional publishers and saying she can do better job for clients, traditional publishers where many is still expecting Sydney to sell their books!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Do not worries, clients! Sydney does not think this will hurt your chances of selling to them!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Much.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">And there is always "</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">ebook pre-printification program" to fall back on.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b><i>PURRRRRRR!</i></b></span><br />
<br />
Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU!
Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post!
While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that <span style="background-color: red;">ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!</span> Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have! Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and <span style="color: red;">ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!</span> Use this <a href="http://www.adoptapet.com/animal-shelters">LINK</a> to find shelter near you! <span style="background-color: red;">GO! AGENT SYDNEY SAYS!</span>
If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
<br />
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</form>J. Steven Yorkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00005909772287389627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5666232155240765457.post-65565163706390038542011-10-28T06:18:00.000-07:002011-10-28T06:18:22.915-07:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyMBD-FJ86ceEkMLQjLz98yKYhyUzNtZMxKOOEJwS_vEDvjh6C2eIK0TCulPG_0_7-eNnADFDm4fuva7Z0en9_jidtZQp0OJFImgtLrJeeT26bfN-6BDZ_sIUpfIKI8QRtaE49fGnkKuQ/s1600-h/sydney-icon-purr.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyMBD-FJ86ceEkMLQjLz98yKYhyUzNtZMxKOOEJwS_vEDvjh6C2eIK0TCulPG_0_7-eNnADFDm4fuva7Z0en9_jidtZQp0OJFImgtLrJeeT26bfN-6BDZ_sIUpfIKI8QRtaE49fGnkKuQ/s200/sydney-icon-purr.JPG" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><i>Sydney:</i></b></span><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Dear writers:</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Sydney knows that sometimes is just too much work to sift through Sydney's blog looking for all her great writing and publishing wisdoms! Sydney also knows that sometimes you might want to read Sydney's great writings without having the internets!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">GOOD NEWS! Sydney has come up with a profitable solution to your problem! Sydney has now collected, illustrated, and updated all her wisdoms into one ebook, which YOU can buy with nothing but money! GO BUY NOW! (Some readers is already giving Sydney 5-star reviews, AND SHE DID NOT EVEN HAVE TO HURT THEM!)</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Sydney's book is also available on <a href="http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/bad-agent-no-catnip-bad-career-advice-and-questionable-misinformation-for-writers-from-the-worlds-worst-literary-agent-sydney-t-cat-sydney-t-cat/1104779790?ean=2940013188501&itm=1&usri=bad%2bagent2c%2bno%2bcatnip" target="_blank">Nook,</a> <a href="http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/80346" target="_blank">Smashwords</a> and other ebook outlets! GO!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b><i>(Sydney is counting her moneys now! PURRRRRRR!)</i></b></span><br />
<br />
<br />
Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU!
Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post!
While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that <span style="background-color: red;">ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!</span> Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have! Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and <span style="color: red;">ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!</span> Use this <a href="http://www.adoptapet.com/animal-shelters">LINK</a> to find shelter near you! <span style="background-color: red;">GO! </span><br />
<span style="background-color: red;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: red;">AGENT SYDNEY SAYS!</span>
If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
<br />
<br />
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</form>J. Steven Yorkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00005909772287389627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5666232155240765457.post-2485277775180822752011-08-06T23:59:00.000-07:002011-08-07T02:23:16.148-07:00Conflict of Interesting<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyMBD-FJ86ceEkMLQjLz98yKYhyUzNtZMxKOOEJwS_vEDvjh6C2eIK0TCulPG_0_7-eNnADFDm4fuva7Z0en9_jidtZQp0OJFImgtLrJeeT26bfN-6BDZ_sIUpfIKI8QRtaE49fGnkKuQ/s1600-h/sydney-icon-purr.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyMBD-FJ86ceEkMLQjLz98yKYhyUzNtZMxKOOEJwS_vEDvjh6C2eIK0TCulPG_0_7-eNnADFDm4fuva7Z0en9_jidtZQp0OJFImgtLrJeeT26bfN-6BDZ_sIUpfIKI8QRtaE49fGnkKuQ/s200/sydney-icon-purr.JPG" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><i>Sydney:</i></b></span><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Lately, Sydney is hearing a lot about agents and conflict of interests! People is talking about how agents may have special relationships with publishers, or may not work in client's best interests if agent is also acting as a publisher. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Sures, these is all conflicts of interest! Sydney loves them all!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">But there is other conflicts of interest that ALWAYS go on with agents, and people never thinks about! These are Sydney's favorites, because nobody ever complains about them! They is so deeply rooted in the agenting business they is invisible! Is like money in the bank!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">In fact, IS money in the bank Sydney is talking about! See, all money flows through agent! Publisher sends check! Sydney cashes check plenty-quick! Then, Sydney deducts her well-deserved 20% commission! Finally, Sydney cuts check for rest of moneys and sends to writer!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">But here is where conflict-of-interest comes on. Writer's best interest is that Sydney should get money to writer as soon as possible! Agency law says agents first interest should be client's first interest...</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">But Sydney is just a little cat (agent), and does not study the law, much less obey it! Sydney's interest is that money stays with Sydney as long as possible! Sydney knows that "money in the bank" means "interest," and interest is money that STAYS in Sydney's bank!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">So, if check comes in on Wednesday, Sydney cashes right away, but pretends not to get it until Friday. If gets on Friday, can't log it in until Monday. If does not log till Monday, cannot send to accounting until Tuesday. But accounting person is taking personal days till Thursday. Then authorization to cut check doesn't get on Sydney's desk till SECOND Friday. Then Sydney cannot sign till Monday, but is in meetings all day, and is out of office on Tuesday and then everything is backed up on Wednesday and then signs on Thursday, but accidentally signs in wrong place, and accounting person doesn't find it becauses starts maternity leave, and then temp replacing her doesn't know where anything is...</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Six weeks later, if writer even knows about money, if even suspects money exists, they is stuck staring at mail-box, wondering where money is! If they calls, Sydney says, "the check's in the mail!" Thanks-you crappy USPS! Sydney can always blames it on you! "Oh," says Sydney,<br />
"you should have it by now! Sydney will send another check soon as can get paperwork through! Only accounting person just started two year sabbatical in Tibet! May be slight, delay!"</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Meanwhile, Sydney's "conflicted interest" is turning into "compounded interest!" See! Sydney makes clever joke! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">You got that check yet?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Is good to be me!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b><i>PURRRRR!</i></b></span><br />
<br />
<iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?lt1=_blank&bc1=000000&IS2=1&bg1=FFFFFF&fc1=000000&lc1=0000FF&t=tsunridgpubl-20&o=1&p=8&l=as4&m=amazon&f=ifr&ref=ss_til&asins=B005C14KL2" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;"></iframe><br />
<br />
<br />
Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU! Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post! While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that <span style="background-color: red;">ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!</span> Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have! Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and <span style="color: red;">ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!</span> Use this <a href="http://www.adoptapet.com/animal-shelters">LINK</a> to find shelter near you! <span style="background-color: red;">GO! AGENT SYDNEY SAYS!</span><br />
<br />
If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! <br />
<form action="https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr" method="post">
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J. Steven Yorkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00005909772287389627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5666232155240765457.post-86996504554198158152011-08-05T20:06:00.000-07:002011-08-06T23:19:45.381-07:00Sydney Wisdom of the Day: Let Bad Agent Sydney Improve Your Writing!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyMBD-FJ86ceEkMLQjLz98yKYhyUzNtZMxKOOEJwS_vEDvjh6C2eIK0TCulPG_0_7-eNnADFDm4fuva7Z0en9_jidtZQp0OJFImgtLrJeeT26bfN-6BDZ_sIUpfIKI8QRtaE49fGnkKuQ/s1600-h/sydney-icon-purr.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyMBD-FJ86ceEkMLQjLz98yKYhyUzNtZMxKOOEJwS_vEDvjh6C2eIK0TCulPG_0_7-eNnADFDm4fuva7Z0en9_jidtZQp0OJFImgtLrJeeT26bfN-6BDZ_sIUpfIKI8QRtaE49fGnkKuQ/s200/sydney-icon-purr.JPG" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><i>Sydney:</i></b></span><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Remember, all manuscriptses is better after agent puts their paw-prints all over them. (Actually, sorry about the wet ones. Sydney just comes from litter-box.) Because anybody can call themselves an agent, even a cat, so obviously if you believe this, a cat knows more about writing that you do! (And you may qualify to be a Bad Agent Sydney client!)</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Here's an excerpt from a recent letter Sydney sends to client about their latest novel:</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>Chapter 1:</b> This is good, but good is nots good enough for an opening! Gots to have reader's attention in the first paragraph! This is why a good hook is so important! Sydney suggests sound of electric can-opener. That always gets her attention!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>Chapter 2:</b> Interest waning here. Blah, blah, setting, blah, blah, characterization, blah, blah, plot, blah, blah, suspense... Sydney takes three naps (12 hours total) just during first paragraph! You needs to haves stuff that interests readers here. You know what interests Sydney? TUNA! Suggest more tuna. Maybe heist is to steal secret case of rare Star-Kist "Unicorn Tuna." Sydney just make this up! You can have! (Small "creative contribution" royalty will be added my usual 20%! No need to pay now! I is good to you!) </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">(Note, will talk to publisher about idea of tuna-scented paper. Big seller!)</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Anyway, maybe opens trunk of get-away car, BUT IS ALREADY FULL OF TUNA! See the sweet dilemma! Hero <i>CANNOT </i>throw aways tunas!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">WHAT WILL DO? You figure out! Also, cut 2000 words.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>Chapter 3:</b> Wait? Did we start Chapter 3 yet? Sydney was napping again. So bored, could not even start reading this one. Put something interesting at front of chapter. Maybe a piece of yarn, or a bug, or a skittery piece of paper on a tile floor! Sydney always excited by these!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Also, cut 3000 words and add more tuna.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">(33 chapters redacted...)</span></i><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>Chapter 37:</b> Atomic bomb in orphanage? White House in flames? Hero hanging from hang-glider over volcano by toes? Love interest being eaten by ants? You call this a climax? SNOOZEFEST!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Needs something EXCITING! Something sends heart racing! Something cannot resist! Something cannot stop looking at! Sydney suggest (they'll never sees this coming!) LASER POINTER on CEILING! Sydney is excited just thinking about it!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Also, cut 5,000 words, add another can-opener and make the Yugo into a tuna boat.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Finally, to entire manuscript, add 40,000 words (all chapters too short!), more tuna, and make protagonist a cat.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Otherwise, is PERFECT! </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Except, more tuna.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Agent knows best!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Is good to be me!</span></i><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">PURRRRRRRR!</span></b><br />
<b><br />
<iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?lt1=_blank&bc1=000000&IS2=1&bg1=FFFFFF&fc1=000000&lc1=0000FF&t=tsunridgpubl-20&o=1&p=8&l=as4&m=amazon&f=ifr&ref=ss_til&asins=B005890QAC" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;"></iframe><br />
</b><br />
<br />
Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU! Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post! While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that <span style="background-color: red;">ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!</span> Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have! Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and <span style="color: red;">ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!</span> Use this <a href="http://www.adoptapet.com/animal-shelters">LINK</a> to find shelter near you! <span style="background-color: red;">GO! AGENT SYDNEY SAYS!</span><br />
<br />
If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! <br />
<form action="https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr" method="post">
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J. Steven Yorkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00005909772287389627noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5666232155240765457.post-68942704849994791262011-05-19T16:55:00.000-07:002011-05-26T23:11:19.864-07:00Sydney Wisdom of the Day: Where There's a Will, There's a Won't<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyMBD-FJ86ceEkMLQjLz98yKYhyUzNtZMxKOOEJwS_vEDvjh6C2eIK0TCulPG_0_7-eNnADFDm4fuva7Z0en9_jidtZQp0OJFImgtLrJeeT26bfN-6BDZ_sIUpfIKI8QRtaE49fGnkKuQ/s1600-h/sydney-icon-purr.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyMBD-FJ86ceEkMLQjLz98yKYhyUzNtZMxKOOEJwS_vEDvjh6C2eIK0TCulPG_0_7-eNnADFDm4fuva7Z0en9_jidtZQp0OJFImgtLrJeeT26bfN-6BDZ_sIUpfIKI8QRtaE49fGnkKuQ/s200/sydney-icon-purr.JPG" /></a></div><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><i>Sydney:</i></b></span><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Client asks Sydney today if Sydney has a will. Sydney get's all huffy, asks what business of it is client's? Client slinks away. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Makes Sydney purr, because Sydney knows EXACTLY what business of it is clients: is ALL of client's business! See, when you is making deal with agent who owns agency, you is potentially making deal with agent's estate, and everyone involved, too!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">See, agency and deals don't just go aways because agent is dead! (Or maybe worses, incapacitated!) Let's say Sydney, cat-Gods forbid, Sydney is hit by bus tomorrow: Okay, Sydney wins that one. But suppose TWO BIGGER buses and a convoy of semi-truckses hits Sydney and Sydney is killeded. (Or put in coma, though that would be hard to tell!)</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">All contracts negotiated by Sydney become assets of the estate! All payments: every check, every royalty payment, every subsidiary right goes through estate! Lawyer, maybe judge, must sign off on every bit of monies that goes through! And lawyers and judges not even PRETEND to care about you like Sydney does (did)! Theys is just interested in keeping as many assets in the estate as possible! And this assumes they even KNOW they're supposed to pay you! Maybe they look at box of shredded papers that is Sydney's "filing system" and just scratch heads! Maybe they cannot find Sydney's address books or phone book because she has hidden them under loose-board next to litter box! Maybe (probably) they knows nothing about publishing business, and does not even understand they is supposed to send percentages to you! (Hey, at least Bad Agent Sydney sent along about one check out of three, just to keep up appearances!)</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">And no matter how bad things get, your old work is still tangled up on Sydney-estate's business! If you signed Sydney's excellent new agency agreement that gives her right to portion of all new works in any away derived from, based upon, or stored in the same room or computer or skull with represented work, then estate could be rabid monkey on yourses back for rest of life!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Of course, if you is with a larger agency, this may be lesses of a problem. Agency more likely to continue on, though in that case, yous can have issues if PRINCIPLE in agency dies (or has nasty divorce with another principle, or gets hauled into court on sexual harassment charges, or...), even if yours agent is on macrobiotic diet and jogging six miles a day!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">So Sydney just laughs at poor client, who still exists in state of ignorances and uncertainty! Just betweens you and me, Sydney has no will! Just poor record keeping, legacy of fraudulent accounting, large-unpaid gambling debts, and a host of semi-insane "lost" relatives who all hate each other more than they care about money. Yours future is in good hands!!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">NOT!!!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">But Sydney does not care!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Sydney will be watching and laughing from Cat heaven! (Sure, she sells her soul to Dark Forces, possible Darth Vader himself, but has 20% of all YOUR souls to cash in on!)</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Is good to me me!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">You, not soes much!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">PURRRRRRRRRRR! </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><i></i></b></span> Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU! Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post! While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that <span style="background-color: red;">ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!</span> Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have! Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and <span style="color: red;">ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!</span> Use this <a href="http://www.adoptapet.com/animal-shelters">LINK</a> to find shelter near you! <span style="background-color: red;">GO! AGENT SYDNEY SAYS!</span> If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! <br />
<form action="https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr" method="post"><input name="cmd" type="hidden" value="_s-xclick" /> <input name="encrypted" type="hidden" value="-----BEGIN PKCS7-----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-----END PKCS7----- " /> <input alt="PayPal - The safer, easier way to pay online!" border="0" name="submit" src="https://www.paypal.com/en_US/i/btn/btn_donateCC_LG.gif" type="image" /> <img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="https://www.paypal.com/en_US/i/scr/pixel.gif" width="1" /> </form>J. Steven Yorkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00005909772287389627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5666232155240765457.post-66411417083097606982011-04-26T23:44:00.000-07:002011-04-26T23:45:54.989-07:00More Bad Hollywood Sydney Wisdom!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyMBD-FJ86ceEkMLQjLz98yKYhyUzNtZMxKOOEJwS_vEDvjh6C2eIK0TCulPG_0_7-eNnADFDm4fuva7Z0en9_jidtZQp0OJFImgtLrJeeT26bfN-6BDZ_sIUpfIKI8QRtaE49fGnkKuQ/s1600-h/sydney-icon-purr.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyMBD-FJ86ceEkMLQjLz98yKYhyUzNtZMxKOOEJwS_vEDvjh6C2eIK0TCulPG_0_7-eNnADFDm4fuva7Z0en9_jidtZQp0OJFImgtLrJeeT26bfN-6BDZ_sIUpfIKI8QRtaE49fGnkKuQ/s200/sydney-icon-purr.JPG" /></a></div><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><i>Sydney:</i></b></span><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Sydney is doing so well with <a href="http://badagentsydney.blogspot.com/2011/04/sydney-wisdom-of-day-check-my-smooth.html">last-week's Hollywoods movie scheme,</a> she starts to wonder, why should she only takes Hollywood money from own clients! Sydney then has new ideas!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Sydney is now what is callsed "Literary Scout!" Sydney hears there is literary scouts for reals, who goes looking for books that has potentials to develop into films or television shows, <i>buys </i>options to market books, then brokers deals throughs their contacts in show-business, and takes finders fee! (Meanwhile, writer's regular agent still getses full 15% for "selling Hollywood rights," even thoughs deal just <i>drops into their lapses!</i> Is <i>good </i>to be an agent!)</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">But Sydney thinks, why <i>pays </i>for options, when stupid writers will <i>give </i>to her for <i>free! </i>Here is Sydney's deal: Sydney cold-calls zillion published writers offering to market their books in Hollywood! Sydney will not charges them at all! All they gots to do is sign over all-rights, exclusive, long-term Hollywood option to Sydney!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Sydney talks smooth, acts like shes is well-connected Hollywood insider, and drops Hollywood-insider names she learns from IMDB and TMZ! "I has talkings with Johnny Depp the other day, and he was sayings how he would like to do a movie </span><i style="font-size: x-large;">justes</i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> like your books! I thinks we could get Sandras Bullock and Mae West and Hally Barry to play the sisters! And we could get little Stevie Spielberg to directs! Or maybe Stan Kubrick or Al Hitchcocks! All is good friends with Sydney! Had tunas with me at Brown Tophat restaurant just the other days!"</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Some writers does not believes, but others does, and is so star-struck by idea of book being made into big movie, does not even check on Sydney's credentials! (Sydney is agent, remember! <i>Has </i>no credentials!) So gives Sydney big right-grab option for free!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Pretty soon, Sydney has whole <i>shopping bag</i> full of options, maybe even with a few names Hollywood peoples who don't read will recognize! Accidentally return Sydney's calls! Sydney gets meeting, spreads out options on table like a deck of playing cards, and says, "takes your pickses! Is all good!"</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Maybe Sydney gets nowhere, but every once in while, one is <i>bound </i>to pay off! And with Sydney's option agreement, no getting around her! Writer can't sell to anyone else! Movie producers can't buy without going through Sydney! Sydney pays <i>nothing </i>to be deal maker and deal breaker!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Is good to be me!<br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">PUUUURRRRRRRRRR!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU! Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post! While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that <span style="background-color: red;">ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!</span> Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have! Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and <span style="color: red;">ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!</span> Use this <a href="http://www.adoptapet.com/animal-shelters">LINK</a> to find shelter near you! <span style="background-color: red;">GO! AGENT SYDNEY SAYS!</span> If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! <br />
<form action="https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr" method="post"><input name="cmd" type="hidden" value="_s-xclick" /> <input name="encrypted" type="hidden" value="-----BEGIN PKCS7-----MIIHVwYJKoZIhvcNAQcEoIIHSDCCB0QCAQExggEwMIIBLAIBADCBlDCBjjELMAkGA1UEBhMCVVMxCzAJBgNVBAgTAkNBMRYwFAYDVQQHEw1Nb3VudGFpbiBWaWV3MRQwEgYDVQQKEwtQYXlQYWwgSW5jLjETMBEGA1UECxQKbGl2ZV9jZXJ0czERMA8GA1UEAxQIbGl2ZV9hcGkxHDAaBgkqhkiG9w0BCQEWDXJlQHBheXBhbC5jb20CAQAwDQYJKoZIhvcNAQEBBQAEgYCRKUH6gdpzDzkw6NOE2gRkeMO7+WftIEH3ma/sf+UVp00kCmPgcUnMJXqIXbIN1tI1c6FSmDC31Zd+b1FsGQepR1A50hhvkZ+5Vf6zxEIANCuZLiEha975RqACVMQmkbgrvG1Ywyi2SCTmSXJr6zcJcVs03+BIGow73yXZDHqZTjELMAkGBSsOAwIaBQAwgdQGCSqGSIb3DQEHATAUBggqhkiG9w0DBwQIS5RXBB/+/seAgbCxlf6V+ca1++JfJmwsmtEbtLaCAkZiMRFzrBImccNpnKTy6bPoEUquoYMg4XfioLycg/WGJ408Z1N7vibnIxDUfHz/0RrunaCoI2LP7y0t/YV0OXkHnccHTIR1lSVPKYHyTc4Uv/CWkWs9V7jsy2LP9NhBsu6q5/7mtfZowM5OF1GDCU+yycKymRV0OgvkycnU5YnIbbQXEfKGdQfFL031H5BFRx9CFcJz+WeJUecu76CCA4cwggODMIIC7KADAgECAgEAMA0GCSqGSIb3DQEBBQUAMIGOMQswCQYDVQQGEwJVUzELMAkGA1UECBMCQ0ExFjAUBgNVBAcTDU1vdW50YWluIFZpZXcxFDASBgNVBAoTC1BheVBhbCBJbmMuMRMwEQYDVQQLFApsaXZlX2NlcnRzMREwDwYDVQQDFAhsaXZlX2FwaTEcMBoGCSqGSIb3DQEJARYNcmVAcGF5cGFsLmNvbTAeFw0wNDAyMTMxMDEzMTVaFw0zNTAyMTMxMDEzMTVaMIGOMQswCQYDVQQGEwJVUzELMAkGA1UECBMCQ0ExFjAUBgNVBAcTDU1vdW50YWluIFZpZXcxFDASBgNVBAoTC1BheVBhbCBJbmMuMRMwEQYDVQQLFApsaXZlX2NlcnRzMREwDwYDVQQDFAhsaXZlX2FwaTEcMBoGCSqGSIb3DQEJARYNcmVAcGF5cGFsLmNvbTCBnzANBgkqhkiG9w0BAQEFAAOBjQAwgYkCgYEAwUdO3fxEzEtcnI7ZKZL412XvZPugoni7i7D7prCe0AtaHTc97CYgm7NsAtJyxNLixmhLV8pyIEaiHXWAh8fPKW+R017+EmXrr9EaquPmsVvTywAAE1PMNOKqo2kl4Gxiz9zZqIajOm1fZGWcGS0f5JQ2kBqNbvbg2/Za+GJ/qwUCAwEAAaOB7jCB6zAdBgNVHQ4EFgQUlp98u8ZvF71ZP1LXChvsENZklGswgbsGA1UdIwSBszCBsIAUlp98u8ZvF71ZP1LXChvsENZklGuhgZSkgZEwgY4xCzAJBgNVBAYTAlVTMQswCQYDVQQIEwJDQTEWMBQGA1UEBxMNTW91bnRhaW4gVmlldzEUMBIGA1UEChMLUGF5UGFsIEluYy4xEzARBgNVBAsUCmxpdmVfY2VydHMxETAPBgNVBAMUCGxpdmVfYXBpMRwwGgYJKoZIhvcNAQkBFg1yZUBwYXlwYWwuY29tggEAMAwGA1UdEwQFMAMBAf8wDQYJKoZIhvcNAQEFBQADgYEAgV86VpqAWuXvX6Oro4qJ1tYVIT5DgWpE692Ag422H7yRIr/9j/iKG4Thia/Oflx4TdL+IFJBAyPK9v6zZNZtBgPBynXb048hsP16l2vi0k5Q2JKiPDsEfBhGI+HnxLXEaUWAcVfCsQFvd2A1sxRr67ip5y2wwBelUecP3AjJ+YcxggGaMIIBlgIBATCBlDCBjjELMAkGA1UEBhMCVVMxCzAJBgNVBAgTAkNBMRYwFAYDVQQHEw1Nb3VudGFpbiBWaWV3MRQwEgYDVQQKEwtQYXlQYWwgSW5jLjETMBEGA1UECxQKbGl2ZV9jZXJ0czERMA8GA1UEAxQIbGl2ZV9hcGkxHDAaBgkqhkiG9w0BCQEWDXJlQHBheXBhbC5jb20CAQAwCQYFKw4DAhoFAKBdMBgGCSqGSIb3DQEJAzELBgkqhkiG9w0BBwEwHAYJKoZIhvcNAQkFMQ8XDTA5MDUwNzIzMTIzM1owIwYJKoZIhvcNAQkEMRYEFBvwt9F/BWfd3cWMxmeAMXYiIqYKMA0GCSqGSIb3DQEBAQUABIGANqXCxFWNEe+AeVQ6KrK5FmW5j7Rd4nn/q4t87HxstRXwRAyN1y6N2NDiWneTVVG3LikpX2LG4E7PthOw+yFBh5U6Ygp4zqTLwo/tOGrEXvdIUQJBYnfiIKWOOA7P5YBRcEE3WuYeshtHOYN9oZ6kXEQ2TnKsWYTouwYFbWUQF8s=-----END PKCS7----- " /> <input alt="PayPal - The safer, easier way to pay online!" border="0" name="submit" src="https://www.paypal.com/en_US/i/btn/btn_donateCC_LG.gif" type="image" /> <img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="https://www.paypal.com/en_US/i/scr/pixel.gif" width="1" /> </form>J. Steven Yorkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00005909772287389627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5666232155240765457.post-72193742859969954602011-04-12T19:50:00.000-07:002011-04-12T21:01:23.254-07:00Sydney Wisdom of the Day - Check my Smooth Moves (or Movies)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyMBD-FJ86ceEkMLQjLz98yKYhyUzNtZMxKOOEJwS_vEDvjh6C2eIK0TCulPG_0_7-eNnADFDm4fuva7Z0en9_jidtZQp0OJFImgtLrJeeT26bfN-6BDZ_sIUpfIKI8QRtaE49fGnkKuQ/s1600-h/sydney-icon-purr.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyMBD-FJ86ceEkMLQjLz98yKYhyUzNtZMxKOOEJwS_vEDvjh6C2eIK0TCulPG_0_7-eNnADFDm4fuva7Z0en9_jidtZQp0OJFImgtLrJeeT26bfN-6BDZ_sIUpfIKI8QRtaE49fGnkKuQ/s200/sydney-icon-purr.JPG" /></a></div><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><i>Sydney:</i></b></span><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Good news, client! Sydney has sold Hollywood option on your book!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Has sold to new production company called "Bad Producer Sydney" Productions. No relation, of course! </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Well, okay, a little, in that its is wholly owned by me! But Sydney does not make the movies, of courses! Sydney will sell yours book to REAL movie-makers. Don't worries! Producer Sydney will send money to you, less 25% management fee! (Of course, Agent Sydney will also take her 20% for selling to Producer Sydney. Is only fair!)</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><iframe align="left" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=yorkwriters-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=0765317710&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="align: left; height: 245px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 5px; width: 131px;"></iframe>Sydney gets you good deal! Not much money up front, but gets you 2% of gross profits, whichs is much better than percent of net profit! In Hollywood, "net" means they will throw net over yous if yous is crazy enough to thinks you will get paid. "Gross" only means it would be gross if they ever actually had to pay anybody!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Of course, if you does not make much, Bad Agent Sydney's cut is small too. But do not feel bad for Bad Agent Sydney! Bad Producer Sydney makes her own deal! Sydney is credited producer on movie! No work, but Sydney makes fat check that she shares with nobodies, trailer stocked with tunas, plus 5% of the budget! (Which means Sydney gets paid if it gets made, even if it is never released!)</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Also, Sydney's name is before yourses in credits! </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Also bigger!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Sydney must go now. Already has deal to write script for sequel! Already gots opening:</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">FADE OUT - YOU</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Is good to be me!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">PURRRRRRRRR!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><i></i></b></span> Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU! Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post! While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that <span style="background-color: red;">ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!</span> Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have! Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and <span style="color: red;">ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!</span> Use this <a href="http://www.adoptapet.com/animal-shelters">LINK</a> to find shelter near you! <span style="background-color: red;">GO! AGENT SYDNEY SAYS!</span> If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! <br />
<form action="https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr" method="post"><input name="cmd" type="hidden" value="_s-xclick" /> <input name="encrypted" type="hidden" value="-----BEGIN PKCS7-----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-----END PKCS7----- " /> <input alt="PayPal - The safer, easier way to pay online!" border="0" name="submit" src="https://www.paypal.com/en_US/i/btn/btn_donateCC_LG.gif" type="image" /> <img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="https://www.paypal.com/en_US/i/scr/pixel.gif" width="1" /> </form>J. Steven Yorkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00005909772287389627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5666232155240765457.post-37819746049628538082011-03-28T02:29:00.000-07:002011-03-28T02:29:03.395-07:00Sydney Wisdom of the Day: The Nine Percents Solution<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyMBD-FJ86ceEkMLQjLz98yKYhyUzNtZMxKOOEJwS_vEDvjh6C2eIK0TCulPG_0_7-eNnADFDm4fuva7Z0en9_jidtZQp0OJFImgtLrJeeT26bfN-6BDZ_sIUpfIKI8QRtaE49fGnkKuQ/s1600-h/sydney-icon-purr.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyMBD-FJ86ceEkMLQjLz98yKYhyUzNtZMxKOOEJwS_vEDvjh6C2eIK0TCulPG_0_7-eNnADFDm4fuva7Z0en9_jidtZQp0OJFImgtLrJeeT26bfN-6BDZ_sIUpfIKI8QRtaE49fGnkKuQ/s200/sydney-icon-purr.JPG" /></a></div><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><i>Sydney:</i></b></span><br />
<br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Hey, want to self-publish your work as ebookses, but don't want to do the work yourselfs? Don't have much moneys? Bad Agent Sydney Agency has new service for you!</span></b><br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></b><br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Sydney is now offering full ebook publishing services with NO moneys up front! Just let Sydney collect sales and she takes SMALL percentages, none aboves 15%, to cover the work done by her crack publishing team that she recruiteds from the parking lot in front of Home Depot!</span></b><br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></b><br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Here is how goes:</span></b><br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Editings 15% Fee</span></b><br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Cover Design 15% Fee</span></b><br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Cover Arts or Photo 10% Fee</span></b><br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Typesetting 10% Fee</span></b><br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Copyediting 15% Fee</span></b><br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Proofing 10% Fee</span></b><br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Cover copy-writings 10% Fee</span></b><br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Ebook Processings 10% Fee</span></b><br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Accounting 10% Fee</span></b><br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></b><br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Simple, huh?</span></b><br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></b><br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Well, Sydney must go now. Has to call client and tell them good newses and bad newses. Good newses is, client sold $10000 dollars worth of ebooks this month! Bad newses is they now owes Sydney $500!</span></b><br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></b><br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">PURRRRRR!</span></b><br />
<br />
Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU! Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post! While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that <span style="background-color: red;">ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!</span> Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have! Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and <span style="color: red;">ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!</span> Use this <a href="http://www.adoptapet.com/animal-shelters">LINK</a> to find shelter near you! <span style="background-color: red;">GO! AGENT SYDNEY SAYS!</span> If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! <br />
<form action="https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr" method="post"><input name="cmd" type="hidden" value="_s-xclick" /> <input name="encrypted" type="hidden" value="-----BEGIN PKCS7-----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-----END PKCS7----- " /> <input alt="PayPal - The safer, easier way to pay online!" border="0" name="submit" src="https://www.paypal.com/en_US/i/btn/btn_donateCC_LG.gif" type="image" /> <img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="https://www.paypal.com/en_US/i/scr/pixel.gif" width="1" /> </form>J. Steven Yorkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00005909772287389627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5666232155240765457.post-61350347932353859012011-03-21T02:25:00.000-07:002011-03-21T02:26:39.660-07:00Bad Agent Sydney FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions) Part the 2<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyMBD-FJ86ceEkMLQjLz98yKYhyUzNtZMxKOOEJwS_vEDvjh6C2eIK0TCulPG_0_7-eNnADFDm4fuva7Z0en9_jidtZQp0OJFImgtLrJeeT26bfN-6BDZ_sIUpfIKI8QRtaE49fGnkKuQ/s1600-h/sydney-icon-purr.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyMBD-FJ86ceEkMLQjLz98yKYhyUzNtZMxKOOEJwS_vEDvjh6C2eIK0TCulPG_0_7-eNnADFDm4fuva7Z0en9_jidtZQp0OJFImgtLrJeeT26bfN-6BDZ_sIUpfIKI8QRtaE49fGnkKuQ/s200/sydney-icon-purr.JPG" /></a></div><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><i>Sydney:</i></b></span><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>How can a <i>cat </i>be an agent?</b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Anybody can prints up cards and call themselves an agent, even a cat! And if it is not permitted, then it is <i>required!</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>Who would sign up a cat for an agent?</b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">When word gots out that Sydney was agent, people started asking where to sends submissions. Sydney has to beat off clients with a stick! Nots kidding. <i>Beats them off with stick!</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i><br />
</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>Sydney is a boy's name, right?</b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b><br />
</b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>Is youses blind?!!</i> Sydney is dainty little girl kitty! Don't makes me come over there and hurt you!!!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i><br />
</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>What's with all the extra "s"es? Do you have pluralicy or something?</b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Everybody is the comedians! No, stupid-heads! When Sydneys was in agent-school she was in house Slitherin. Does that answers your question?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>What qualities do you look for in a client?</b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Sydney likes the starry-eyed optimism that blinds all judgement, desperate need for validation, and accesses to a large trust fund!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>Are you taking submissions?</b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Not from yous!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>I have this great idea for a fantasy series...</b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b><br />
</b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Yours mother must be so proud!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>What is your commission rate?</b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Many agents still charging 15%, but Sydney's worthless clients not making enough moneys for her! So Sydney says to herselfs, "Youses is worth more than that!" So lucky you, if you has Sydney for agent! Sydney is now worths 20%! You mustes have the bestest agent in the business! YOU DOES NOT DESERVE! WORKS HARDER!!!!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>I've heard you insist your clients obey your instructions. What's up with that? Shouldn't a writer be the master of their own career?</b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Who has you been talking to? You is only writer! Sydney is <i>agent!</i> Agent knows best! Agent tells <i>many </i>writers what to do! You is only one! By definitions, Agent is <i>many </i>times smarter than yous! Yous is only single pellet in Sydney's scatter-gun of success!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>But how can you tell writers how to write their books? You've never written a book, have you?</b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">What! SYDNEY IS WRITING A BOOK RIGHT NOW! BOOK IS JUST A BIG BLOG POST! SYDNEY PUTS ALL BLOG POSTS TOGETHER, HAS BOOK! SCREWS YOU!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>Well, if it's so easy, why do I need you?</b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Noes, noes, NOES! No book is goods enough for publications without Agent's claw-marks on in! (Sydney is perfectly capables of clawing up her own manuscripts, thank-you-very-muches!)</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>But, not only haven't you written a book, you've never been a professional editor either, have you?</b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Sydney is an important crack in the editorial sidewalk to possible-maybe publication!! (Do not step on crack! Sydney's back already under a lotta strain!) Sydney's editorial input has been permeated into many manuscripts to make then suitable for submission to major publisherses!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>Where they then need to be edited?</b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Well of courses! Whole point of Agent intervention is to make the manuscript <i>just </i>good enough to need <i>real </i>editing!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>Even if that means making the manuscript worse?</b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>Especially </i>if it means making book worse! This is important thing, great secret that only Agents understands! <i>Editors buy books, </i>and <i>editors mustest justify their phoney-baloney jobs!</i> This is secret! Editors is not necessary to publishing process! <i>Not like Agents!</i> Surprisingly, mostest books is rejected by publishers because they is too good! Sydney uses her special agent powers to dull your manuscript down <i>just </i>to the point where it showses editorial promise! This is the sweet spot where editors will bite!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>Oooookay! Shouldn't there be more questions than this on a Frequently Asked Questions List?</b> </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Sydney will answer more questions as you frequently ask them. <a href="mailto:sydney@badagent.me">Email Sydney</a> with yourses agent and publishing and especially Sydney questions!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>Any final advice to writers?</b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION! ADOPTS A HOMELESS CAT TODAY! SYDNEY ORDERS YOU!!!!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>You like to have the last word, don't you?</b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">PURRRRRRRR!!!</span><br />
<br />
Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU! Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post! While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that <span style="background-color: red;">ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!</span> Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have! Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and <span style="color: red;">ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!</span> Use this <a href="http://www.adoptapet.com/animal-shelters">LINK</a> to find shelter near you! <span style="background-color: red;">GO! AGENT SYDNEY SAYS!</span> If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! <br />
<form action="https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr" method="post"><input name="cmd" type="hidden" value="_s-xclick" /> <input name="encrypted" type="hidden" value="-----BEGIN PKCS7-----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-----END PKCS7----- " /> <input alt="PayPal - The safer, easier way to pay online!" border="0" name="submit" src="https://www.paypal.com/en_US/i/btn/btn_donateCC_LG.gif" type="image" /> <img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="https://www.paypal.com/en_US/i/scr/pixel.gif" width="1" /> </form>J. Steven Yorkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00005909772287389627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5666232155240765457.post-21266495630461421182011-02-06T19:24:00.000-08:002011-02-06T19:24:14.769-08:00Sydney Wisdom of the Day - Never Ending Story<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyMBD-FJ86ceEkMLQjLz98yKYhyUzNtZMxKOOEJwS_vEDvjh6C2eIK0TCulPG_0_7-eNnADFDm4fuva7Z0en9_jidtZQp0OJFImgtLrJeeT26bfN-6BDZ_sIUpfIKI8QRtaE49fGnkKuQ/s1600-h/sydney-icon-purr.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyMBD-FJ86ceEkMLQjLz98yKYhyUzNtZMxKOOEJwS_vEDvjh6C2eIK0TCulPG_0_7-eNnADFDm4fuva7Z0en9_jidtZQp0OJFImgtLrJeeT26bfN-6BDZ_sIUpfIKI8QRtaE49fGnkKuQ/s200/sydney-icon-purr.JPG" /></a></div><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><i>Sydney:</i></b></span><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Most publishing contracts haves what is called "termination clause." No, stupids, this is not title of worst Arnold Schwarzenegger Christimas movie ever! This is clause that sets up what conditions under which the contracts ceases to applies, like when book is out of print or the term of the rights purchase runses out.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">But Sydney has another name for this clause! She calls it the "Sydney-doesn't-makes-no-more-money clause!" See, the percentage of monies that Sydney gets is for the "life of the contract." If book stays in print for fifty years and contract is in force, Sydney gets still her percentage! This is much tunas for Sydney!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">But if contract runs out, so whats, right? Sydney can resell work then and makes more monies! But, ignoring that this is more works for Sydney (do not want!), sometimes (not very often) clients wise up to Sydney's evil ways, and "part company" with Sydney! But even then, if contract is still in force, Sydney still makes moneys! But if contract expires, no moneys for Sydney! Former client can have NEW agent resell and keep cut for themselves! </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Stupid writer may even sell themselves and keep ALL money! Selfish writers! Don't they know that agents needs to eat, pay rent, and buy mink-lined business jets!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Sydney has been thinking about this, wondering if she can negotiate OUT termination clause on all client's new contracts? Publishers won't say nothing. It has been Sydney's experience, they is usually happy to let writers (or their agents) screw themselves. But this is only screwing for client, not so much for Bad Agent Sydney! And most clients won't notice. Don't know what termination clause is, even if they bothers to reads contract. (Clients, ignore this post, and do not worry your pretty-little-heads!).</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiw0loX-pUmEPdbIVAIub4zk2Pgf1ZsyQC3gU5YzVvDs8wsBLZdh5HjGKkbaBozMbVQkRcPyML-3kEqIT_GLQZVqGa4WgSkZ7FyLo0rcY68mqzzS6v9-JBAnrbTHSzvqUrE7evLq9yES5s/s1600/sydneys+office+glasses+IMG_5495.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="153" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiw0loX-pUmEPdbIVAIub4zk2Pgf1ZsyQC3gU5YzVvDs8wsBLZdh5HjGKkbaBozMbVQkRcPyML-3kEqIT_GLQZVqGa4WgSkZ7FyLo0rcY68mqzzS6v9-JBAnrbTHSzvqUrE7evLq9yES5s/s200/sydneys+office+glasses+IMG_5495.jpg" width="200" /></span></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Sometimes Sydney is so brilliants she has to wear shades!!!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">PURRRRRRR!!!!!</span><br />
<br />
Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU! Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post! While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that <span style="background-color: red;">ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!</span> Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have! Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and <span style="color: red;">ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!</span> Use this <a href="http://www.adoptapet.com/animal-shelters">LINK</a> to find shelter near you! <span style="background-color: red;">GO! AGENT SYDNEY SAYS!</span> If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! <br />
<form action="https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr" method="post"><input name="cmd" type="hidden" value="_s-xclick" /> <input name="encrypted" type="hidden" value="-----BEGIN PKCS7-----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-----END PKCS7----- " /> <input alt="PayPal - The safer, easier way to pay online!" border="0" name="submit" src="https://www.paypal.com/en_US/i/btn/btn_donateCC_LG.gif" type="image" /> <img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="https://www.paypal.com/en_US/i/scr/pixel.gif" width="1" /> </form>J. Steven Yorkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00005909772287389627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5666232155240765457.post-33230161917757884362011-01-28T17:05:00.000-08:002011-01-28T17:05:42.582-08:00Sydney Wisdom of the Day - Why Good Kitties Can Still Eat You<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyMBD-FJ86ceEkMLQjLz98yKYhyUzNtZMxKOOEJwS_vEDvjh6C2eIK0TCulPG_0_7-eNnADFDm4fuva7Z0en9_jidtZQp0OJFImgtLrJeeT26bfN-6BDZ_sIUpfIKI8QRtaE49fGnkKuQ/s1600-h/sydney-icon-purr.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyMBD-FJ86ceEkMLQjLz98yKYhyUzNtZMxKOOEJwS_vEDvjh6C2eIK0TCulPG_0_7-eNnADFDm4fuva7Z0en9_jidtZQp0OJFImgtLrJeeT26bfN-6BDZ_sIUpfIKI8QRtaE49fGnkKuQ/s200/sydney-icon-purr.JPG" /></a></div><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><i>Sydney:</i></b></span><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
Sydney is always amazed that peoples think that agents can’t be bad agents because they is nice peoples. Just because you likes having drinks with somebody at convention bar is no reason to sleep with them without protections (this is all hypotheticals of course, Sydney is “fixed”) or make them signer on yours checking account.<br />
<br />
Look at Sydney. Sydney is bad agent, sures (and prouds of it!) but she is also sweet little kitty. Warm and soft. Purrs so loud you can hear in next state. Likes chin rubs, scritches, and warm laps. But down deep (okay, no so far down in Sydney’s case!), self-interest rules!<br />
<br />
Sydney wants treats. Sydney wants litter box cleaned. SYDNEY WANTS TUNA! And when Sydney wants, what you wants is not toos important! Sure, Sydney is nice little kitty, but if Sydney is hungry enough, and yous lay on the floor still long enough, SYDNEY WILL EAT YOU!! This is way of the world, silly peoples!<br />
<br />
So many, maybe most bad agents start out as good people. But one day the cash is short, the electrics bill is overdues, the rent is behind, and agent needs moneys for postage. And there is foreign rights check in in-box. Client doesn’t even know it is theres, and agent knows plenty of cash coming down pipeline to pay back! Where is harm! For writer, money in two weeks will still be money out of nowhere! They still thrilled! Agent is hero, and bills get paid! Where is harm!<br />
<br />
Except next week, needs more money to pay back other money, and there is other checks sittings in inbox, stupid hopeful writers pounding at door who would be happy to pay reading or editing fees, and royalty statements that could just “disappear.”<br />
<br />
Always, what is harms? Just a little here and there. Always intends to pay back. Agent surely deserves it for all things they do! Just “borrow” for a few days, a month, a year, until “things turn around…”<br />
<br />
Sydney does not know if power really corrupts, but it sure doesn’t hurt! And many writers gives their agents absolute power over their money and affairs. Is very, very tempting, even for “nice peoples.”<br />
<br />
And now business is changings. Agents’ future place in world us uncertain. EVERYBODY is hungry. And there is all these writers, laying there — very still.<br />
<br />
Yum.<br />
<br />
Is good to be me… PURRRR!</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">(Sydney originally posts this as comment on blog of crazy-writer-lady Kristine Kathryn Rusch, who is always talkings about writing business, educating writers, and spoiling Sydney's evil plans! Do not even go to her blog at <a href="http://www.kristinekathrynrusch.com/">www.KristineKathrynRusch.com</a> DON'TS!!!)</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span> Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU! Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post! While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that <span style="background-color: red;">ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!</span> Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have! Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and <span style="color: red;">ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!</span> Use this <a href="http://www.adoptapet.com/animal-shelters">LINK</a> to find shelter near you! <span style="background-color: red;">GO! AGENT SYDNEY SAYS!</span> If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! <br />
<form action="https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr" method="post"><input name="cmd" type="hidden" value="_s-xclick" /> <input name="encrypted" type="hidden" value="-----BEGIN PKCS7-----MIIHVwYJKoZIhvcNAQcEoIIHSDCCB0QCAQExggEwMIIBLAIBADCBlDCBjjELMAkGA1UEBhMCVVMxCzAJBgNVBAgTAkNBMRYwFAYDVQQHEw1Nb3VudGFpbiBWaWV3MRQwEgYDVQQKEwtQYXlQYWwgSW5jLjETMBEGA1UECxQKbGl2ZV9jZXJ0czERMA8GA1UEAxQIbGl2ZV9hcGkxHDAaBgkqhkiG9w0BCQEWDXJlQHBheXBhbC5jb20CAQAwDQYJKoZIhvcNAQEBBQAEgYCRKUH6gdpzDzkw6NOE2gRkeMO7+WftIEH3ma/sf+UVp00kCmPgcUnMJXqIXbIN1tI1c6FSmDC31Zd+b1FsGQepR1A50hhvkZ+5Vf6zxEIANCuZLiEha975RqACVMQmkbgrvG1Ywyi2SCTmSXJr6zcJcVs03+BIGow73yXZDHqZTjELMAkGBSsOAwIaBQAwgdQGCSqGSIb3DQEHATAUBggqhkiG9w0DBwQIS5RXBB/+/seAgbCxlf6V+ca1++JfJmwsmtEbtLaCAkZiMRFzrBImccNpnKTy6bPoEUquoYMg4XfioLycg/WGJ408Z1N7vibnIxDUfHz/0RrunaCoI2LP7y0t/YV0OXkHnccHTIR1lSVPKYHyTc4Uv/CWkWs9V7jsy2LP9NhBsu6q5/7mtfZowM5OF1GDCU+yycKymRV0OgvkycnU5YnIbbQXEfKGdQfFL031H5BFRx9CFcJz+WeJUecu76CCA4cwggODMIIC7KADAgECAgEAMA0GCSqGSIb3DQEBBQUAMIGOMQswCQYDVQQGEwJVUzELMAkGA1UECBMCQ0ExFjAUBgNVBAcTDU1vdW50YWluIFZpZXcxFDASBgNVBAoTC1BheVBhbCBJbmMuMRMwEQYDVQQLFApsaXZlX2NlcnRzMREwDwYDVQQDFAhsaXZlX2FwaTEcMBoGCSqGSIb3DQEJARYNcmVAcGF5cGFsLmNvbTAeFw0wNDAyMTMxMDEzMTVaFw0zNTAyMTMxMDEzMTVaMIGOMQswCQYDVQQGEwJVUzELMAkGA1UECBMCQ0ExFjAUBgNVBAcTDU1vdW50YWluIFZpZXcxFDASBgNVBAoTC1BheVBhbCBJbmMuMRMwEQYDVQQLFApsaXZlX2NlcnRzMREwDwYDVQQDFAhsaXZlX2FwaTEcMBoGCSqGSIb3DQEJARYNcmVAcGF5cGFsLmNvbTCBnzANBgkqhkiG9w0BAQEFAAOBjQAwgYkCgYEAwUdO3fxEzEtcnI7ZKZL412XvZPugoni7i7D7prCe0AtaHTc97CYgm7NsAtJyxNLixmhLV8pyIEaiHXWAh8fPKW+R017+EmXrr9EaquPmsVvTywAAE1PMNOKqo2kl4Gxiz9zZqIajOm1fZGWcGS0f5JQ2kBqNbvbg2/Za+GJ/qwUCAwEAAaOB7jCB6zAdBgNVHQ4EFgQUlp98u8ZvF71ZP1LXChvsENZklGswgbsGA1UdIwSBszCBsIAUlp98u8ZvF71ZP1LXChvsENZklGuhgZSkgZEwgY4xCzAJBgNVBAYTAlVTMQswCQYDVQQIEwJDQTEWMBQGA1UEBxMNTW91bnRhaW4gVmlldzEUMBIGA1UEChMLUGF5UGFsIEluYy4xEzARBgNVBAsUCmxpdmVfY2VydHMxETAPBgNVBAMUCGxpdmVfYXBpMRwwGgYJKoZIhvcNAQkBFg1yZUBwYXlwYWwuY29tggEAMAwGA1UdEwQFMAMBAf8wDQYJKoZIhvcNAQEFBQADgYEAgV86VpqAWuXvX6Oro4qJ1tYVIT5DgWpE692Ag422H7yRIr/9j/iKG4Thia/Oflx4TdL+IFJBAyPK9v6zZNZtBgPBynXb048hsP16l2vi0k5Q2JKiPDsEfBhGI+HnxLXEaUWAcVfCsQFvd2A1sxRr67ip5y2wwBelUecP3AjJ+YcxggGaMIIBlgIBATCBlDCBjjELMAkGA1UEBhMCVVMxCzAJBgNVBAgTAkNBMRYwFAYDVQQHEw1Nb3VudGFpbiBWaWV3MRQwEgYDVQQKEwtQYXlQYWwgSW5jLjETMBEGA1UECxQKbGl2ZV9jZXJ0czERMA8GA1UEAxQIbGl2ZV9hcGkxHDAaBgkqhkiG9w0BCQEWDXJlQHBheXBhbC5jb20CAQAwCQYFKw4DAhoFAKBdMBgGCSqGSIb3DQEJAzELBgkqhkiG9w0BBwEwHAYJKoZIhvcNAQkFMQ8XDTA5MDUwNzIzMTIzM1owIwYJKoZIhvcNAQkEMRYEFBvwt9F/BWfd3cWMxmeAMXYiIqYKMA0GCSqGSIb3DQEBAQUABIGANqXCxFWNEe+AeVQ6KrK5FmW5j7Rd4nn/q4t87HxstRXwRAyN1y6N2NDiWneTVVG3LikpX2LG4E7PthOw+yFBh5U6Ygp4zqTLwo/tOGrEXvdIUQJBYnfiIKWOOA7P5YBRcEE3WuYeshtHOYN9oZ6kXEQ2TnKsWYTouwYFbWUQF8s=-----END PKCS7----- " /> <input alt="PayPal - The safer, easier way to pay online!" border="0" name="submit" src="https://www.paypal.com/en_US/i/btn/btn_donateCC_LG.gif" type="image" /> <img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="https://www.paypal.com/en_US/i/scr/pixel.gif" width="1" /> </form></div>J. Steven Yorkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00005909772287389627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5666232155240765457.post-10635528004264948132011-01-27T04:51:00.000-08:002011-01-27T05:06:16.626-08:00Sydney Wisdom of the Day - What's Yours is Mine<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyMBD-FJ86ceEkMLQjLz98yKYhyUzNtZMxKOOEJwS_vEDvjh6C2eIK0TCulPG_0_7-eNnADFDm4fuva7Z0en9_jidtZQp0OJFImgtLrJeeT26bfN-6BDZ_sIUpfIKI8QRtaE49fGnkKuQ/s1600-h/sydney-icon-purr.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyMBD-FJ86ceEkMLQjLz98yKYhyUzNtZMxKOOEJwS_vEDvjh6C2eIK0TCulPG_0_7-eNnADFDm4fuva7Z0en9_jidtZQp0OJFImgtLrJeeT26bfN-6BDZ_sIUpfIKI8QRtaE49fGnkKuQ/s200/sydney-icon-purr.JPG" /></a></div><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><i>Sydney:</i></b></span><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Sydney is very excited! Sydney has a new client! Writer comes to Sydney with novel they wanted to sell to New York, but here is twist: Book is already a top seller!!!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Here is deal. Writer has already published novel as ebook on Kindle and Nook and other ebook-things. Turns out to be big seller, and gets lots of attention, even press! Sells lots of copies and makes lots of money! But client is romantic. Despite all this money, does not think she is really "published" until she has agent and sells to New York!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Writers with stars in eyes make Sydney purr! They is putty in Sydney's paws! Sydney plays it cool, and licks her paws for a while before saying "yes" to client! Client is so grateful, she is ready to clean Sydney's litter box!</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8qIoq-aPy0-XunmGLMg1gKivmJAhCCkj-iwNTeK7wRcIYHOTOxNJ_EB45QwZI-hHRWfuZF8q8nShnS9D9NTdLasJ3GDIXTKiQ8NkJzvMYWEL48rCv7P2h5iIEfC7FZvKU43Q68SOLMqk/s1600/Barnes-Noble-Nook-eReader.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="183" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8qIoq-aPy0-XunmGLMg1gKivmJAhCCkj-iwNTeK7wRcIYHOTOxNJ_EB45QwZI-hHRWfuZF8q8nShnS9D9NTdLasJ3GDIXTKiQ8NkJzvMYWEL48rCv7P2h5iIEfC7FZvKU43Q68SOLMqk/s200/Barnes-Noble-Nook-eReader.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Novel is easy sell. Book has proven track record, and proven appeal! Publishers line up, and Sydney has auction! Advance is good! Of course, writer loses out big time on royalties, but Sydney does not care, because she gets cut! All Sydney really cares is that SHE makes money!!!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Publisher also agrees to let writer keep selling their ebook version, because publisher wants to <s>piss on</s> edit and revise book so much, their version will be much different. Why they want to fix what is working? Sydney does not know! Lots of work for writer, but it not Sydney's problem!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">But Sydney is annoyed. Writer's self-published ebooks still sell, and what's in it for Sydney? Sydney tells client they gots to pay her 10% commission on ebooks she didn't touch and didn't sell! </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Grateful writer goes for it, hook, line, and tuna! Sydney wins! Gots writer coming and going! Sydney is genius!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Is good to be me! PURRRRRRRRRRRR!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><i></i></b></span>Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU! Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post! While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that <span style="background-color: red;">ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!</span> Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have! Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and <span style="color: red;">ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!</span> Use this <a href="http://www.adoptapet.com/animal-shelters">LINK</a> to find shelter near you! <span style="background-color: red;">GO! AGENT SYDNEY SAYS!</span> If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! <br />
<form action="https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr" method="post"><input name="cmd" type="hidden" value="_s-xclick" /> <input name="encrypted" type="hidden" value="-----BEGIN PKCS7-----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-----END PKCS7----- " /> <input alt="PayPal - The safer, easier way to pay online!" border="0" name="submit" src="https://www.paypal.com/en_US/i/btn/btn_donateCC_LG.gif" type="image" /> <img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="https://www.paypal.com/en_US/i/scr/pixel.gif" width="1" /> </form>J. Steven Yorkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00005909772287389627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5666232155240765457.post-57392947440381220372010-12-31T01:16:00.000-08:002010-12-31T01:16:00.905-08:00Wisdom of the Day: Sydney's Almost-Certain-To-Get-You-Pre-published-Writing-School<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyMBD-FJ86ceEkMLQjLz98yKYhyUzNtZMxKOOEJwS_vEDvjh6C2eIK0TCulPG_0_7-eNnADFDm4fuva7Z0en9_jidtZQp0OJFImgtLrJeeT26bfN-6BDZ_sIUpfIKI8QRtaE49fGnkKuQ/s1600-h/sydney-icon-purr.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyMBD-FJ86ceEkMLQjLz98yKYhyUzNtZMxKOOEJwS_vEDvjh6C2eIK0TCulPG_0_7-eNnADFDm4fuva7Z0en9_jidtZQp0OJFImgtLrJeeT26bfN-6BDZ_sIUpfIKI8QRtaE49fGnkKuQ/s200/sydney-icon-purr.JPG" /></a></div><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><i>Sydney:</i></b></span><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Good news! Sydney is starting a writing school for would-be clients! If you're not good enough for Sydney to read out of slush, you is still plenty good enough to give Sydney money to learns how to write!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">If you pays to go through Sydney's writing school, Sydney almost certainly promises to put your submissions back in her slush pile, maybes near the top! Slush pile is not quite tall enough to get Sydney into prime afternoon sunny spot!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Of course, Sydney cannot teach you. First, she is busy napping on top of slush-pile. Seconds, she is just a little cat, and cannot write.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">So Sydney needs to hire some writing instructors! How to find peoples? Hmmm. Sydney has heard that if you go to Home Depot parking lot in the morning, you can hire people there...</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Get your moneys ready! Sydney will be right back!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">PURRRRRR!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU! Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post! While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that <span style="background-color: red;">ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!</span> Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have! Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and <span style="color: red;">ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!</span> Use this <a href="http://www.adoptapet.com/animal-shelters">LINK</a> to find shelter near you! <span style="background-color: red;">GO! AGENT SYDNEY SAYS!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: red;"></span> If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! <br />
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