Monday, July 19, 2010

Bad Agent Poetry

Sydney:


"Oh angry client on voice mail,
UR a kink in Sydney's tail,
O how I wish U'd go away,
I will NOT take your call today!"


Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU! Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post! While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!  Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have!  Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!  Use this LINK to find shelter near you!  GO!  AGENT SYDNEY SAYS! If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Sydney Wisdom of the Day: Theory of Relativity


Sydney:

Silly writers think that value of their manuscript (and by extension, themselves) is absolute.  It maybe be good, or it may be bad, or may be somewhere in-between, but whatever it is, it is, today, tomorrow, and the next.

Pssh!  Is all a bunch of cat-sand!  Value of manuscript can only be determined in the context of the here-and-now in Sydney's world!  

Now, you might might think this has to do with publishing market.  Vampire books is hot one day, maybe glut the next.  Good theory!  But this would mean that Sydney is keeping tabs on publishing market, and that is too much work.  No fun either, so she does not do.

No, it means that importance of every manuscript goes up and down relative to Sydney's workload.  If Sydney has Big Deal going that requires all her attention, every other manuscript in her office looks just a little bit more like crap.  

If Sydney has a big back-log of slush (and when does she not?), all looks like crap.  

If Sydney has too-many clients clamoring for her attention and approval (and since Sydney loves money, Sydney always has more clients than she can shake a catnip-mouse at) then everything in office start to get a certain stink about it.

What is funny is, people put so much value in Sydney's approval, when all this is TOTALLY BEYOND THE WRITER'S CONTROL!  All control is Sydney's in how many clients she takes on, how eagerly she seeks new clients, how she manages her time, and of course, how many naps she takes!  ALL POWER IS SYDNEY'S!

This is just one more more way that writers willingly hand over power over their lives and careers to Bad Agent Sydney, and not even know!

Is good to be me!

PURRRRRRRRRRR!


Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU! Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post! While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!  Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have!  Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!  Use this LINK to find shelter near you!  GO!  AGENT SYDNEY SAYS! If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Literary Agent Cocktail

Sydney:

Somebody has come up with recipe for a "Literary Agent Cocktail."  Seems like a real agent in that it is bitter, difficult, and over-complicated.  On the other hand, Sydney thinks that any drink can be improved by the addition of tuna juice.  In fact, any drink that has anything OTHER than tuna juice or fresh water is bad, and not in a good way, so that whole idea is out.


Just the same, maybe you will want to give it a try.  Here's the post on MediaBistro.com, with a link to the actual recipe.  Enjoy. LITERARY AGENT COCKTAIL.

 Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU! Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post! While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!  Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have!  Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!  Use this LINK to find shelter near you!  GO!  AGENT SYDNEY SAYS! If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!