Sydney:

Words is money.


Sydney has been scooping up many writer's estates, and signing writers that is largely retired and is not keeping up with changes in publishing, offering to handle their back-lists.  Scooping up like plump little mousies!  Yum!


Sydney knows how to sell words (especially good words written by professional writers) by the pound, turning them into cash!  Sydney has her own publishing company on side.  (Oh!  Whoopses!  Is just publishing company that is just happens to be BESIDE Sydney.  Is not connected!  Oh, no, oh noes!)  Anyway, this almost certainly unconnected company publishes all these words as ebooks and print-on-demand books!  Only a little bit, because company does not do very good job on conversions or formattings or covers, but does not matter, because Sydney works in bulk!


Then, somehows (does not want to know how) bails of money fall into Sydney's mail-slot.  KLUNK!  There's anotherones!


Oh, wait!  What is this envelope here under bail of money?  Oh, is from publisher trying to buy rights to one of Sydney's estate books! Sydney has dealt with these bad peoples before!  Wants to offer estate much more moneys than Sydney's bulk deal.  More money for estate, but LESS FOR SYDNEY!  THIS CANNOT STAND!


But do not worries!  Sydney has easy solution!  Just does not pass deal along!  Tells publisher to go away!  But this new letter, they is asking for contact information for estate, so can take offer to them directly.  WELL, SYDNEY WILL NOT TELL!


Does not have to.


Will just keep estate in dark, and feed them -- well, you knows!


KLUNK!


Is good to me me!


PURRRRRRRR!





 Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU! Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post! While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!  Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have!  Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!  Use this LINK to find shelter near you!  GO!  AGENT SYDNEY SAYS! If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Sydney Wisdom of the Day: The Nine Percents Solution

Sydney:

Hey, want to self-publish your work as ebookses, but don't want to do the work yourselfs?  Don't have much moneys?  Bad Agent Sydney Agency has new service for you!


Sydney is now offering full ebook publishing services with NO moneys up front!  Just let Sydney collect sales and she takes SMALL percentages, none aboves 15%, to cover the work done by her crack publishing team that she recruiteds from the parking lot in front of Home Depot!


Here is how goes:
Editings 15%  Fee
Cover Design 15% Fee
Cover Arts or Photo 10% Fee
Typesetting 10% Fee
Copyediting 15% Fee
Proofing 10% Fee
Cover copy-writings 10% Fee
Ebook Processings 10% Fee
Accounting 10% Fee


Simple, huh?


Well, Sydney must go now.  Has to call client and tell them good newses and bad newses.  Good newses is, client sold $10000 dollars worth of ebooks this month!  Bad newses is they now owes Sydney $500!


PURRRRRR!

 Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU! Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post! While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!  Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have!  Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!  Use this LINK to find shelter near you!  GO!  AGENT SYDNEY SAYS! If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Sydney Wisdom of the Day - What's Yours is Mine

Sydney:

Sydney is very excited!  Sydney has a new client!  Writer comes to Sydney with novel they wanted to sell to New York, but here is twist: Book is already a top seller!!!


Here is deal.  Writer has already published novel as ebook on Kindle and Nook and other ebook-things.  Turns out to be big seller, and gets lots of attention, even press!  Sells lots of copies and makes lots of money!  But client is romantic.  Despite all this money, does not think she is really "published" until she has agent and sells to New York!


Writers with stars in eyes make Sydney purr!  They is putty in Sydney's paws!  Sydney plays it cool, and licks her paws for a while before saying "yes" to client!  Client is so grateful, she is ready to clean Sydney's litter box!

Novel is easy sell.  Book has proven track record, and proven appeal!  Publishers line up, and Sydney has auction!  Advance is good!  Of course, writer loses out big time on royalties, but Sydney does not care, because she gets cut!  All Sydney really cares is that SHE makes money!!!


Publisher also agrees to let writer keep selling their ebook version, because publisher wants to piss on edit and revise book so much, their version will be much different.  Why they want to fix what is working?  Sydney does not know!  Lots of work for writer, but it not Sydney's problem!


But Sydney is annoyed.  Writer's self-published ebooks still sell, and what's in it for Sydney?  Sydney tells client they gots to pay her 10% commission on ebooks she didn't touch and didn't sell!  


Grateful writer goes for it, hook, line, and tuna!  Sydney wins!  Gots writer coming and going!  Sydney is genius!


Is good to be me!  PURRRRRRRRRRRR!

Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU! Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post! While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!  Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have!  Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!  Use this LINK to find shelter near you!  GO!  AGENT SYDNEY SAYS! If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!