Tuesday, April 26, 2011

More Bad Hollywood Sydney Wisdom!


Sydney is doing so well with last-week's Hollywoods movie scheme, she starts to wonder, why should she only takes Hollywood money from own clients!  Sydney then has new ideas!

Sydney is now what is callsed "Literary Scout!"  Sydney hears there is literary scouts for reals, who goes looking for books that has potentials to develop into films or television shows, buys options to market books, then brokers deals throughs their contacts in show-business, and takes finders fee!  (Meanwhile, writer's regular agent still getses full 15% for "selling Hollywood rights," even thoughs deal just drops into their lapses!  Is good to be an agent!)

But Sydney thinks, why pays for options, when stupid writers will give to her for free!  Here is Sydney's deal: Sydney cold-calls zillion published writers offering to market their books in Hollywood!  Sydney will not charges them at all!  All they gots to do is sign over all-rights, exclusive, long-term Hollywood option to Sydney!

Sydney talks smooth, acts like shes is well-connected Hollywood insider, and drops Hollywood-insider names she learns from IMDB and TMZ!  "I has talkings with Johnny Depp the other day, and he was sayings how he would like to do a movie justes like your books!  I thinks we could get Sandras Bullock and Mae West and Hally Barry to play the sisters!  And we could get little Stevie Spielberg to directs!  Or maybe Stan Kubrick or Al Hitchcocks!  All is good friends with Sydney!  Had tunas with me at Brown Tophat restaurant just the other days!"

Some writers does not believes, but others does, and is so star-struck by idea of book being made into big movie, does not even check on Sydney's credentials!  (Sydney is agent, remember!  Has no credentials!)  So gives Sydney big right-grab option for free!

Pretty soon, Sydney has whole shopping bag full of options, maybe even with a few names Hollywood peoples who don't read will recognize!  Accidentally return Sydney's calls!  Sydney gets meeting, spreads out options on table like a deck of playing cards, and says, "takes your pickses!  Is all good!"

Maybe Sydney gets nowhere, but every once in while, one is bound to pay off!  And with Sydney's option agreement, no getting around her!  Writer can't sell to anyone else!  Movie producers can't buy without going through Sydney!  Sydney pays nothing to be deal maker and deal breaker!

Is good to be me!


 Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU! Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post! While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!  Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have!  Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!  Use this LINK to find shelter near you!  GO!  AGENT SYDNEY SAYS! If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

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