Saturday, August 11, 2012

You're a Keeper!


Dear Client:

You are a keeper!

Noes, noes, stop with the jumping and clapping.  Is not a good thing.

See, "keepers" is what Sydney calls clients she has stopped working for, but simply not bothered to kick to the curb.  Sydney does not return your calls.  Sydney does not send out your manuscripts.  Sydney does not pitch your books.  Sydney just keeps you in her dusty files, taking up space, until you either go away, die, or somehow become valuable to her.  And it is this last that is the ONLY reason Sydney keeps you around.

How could that happen?  Well, somebody could find an old copy of your manuscript behind an editor's desk , love it and make an offer.  Maybe you could sell your own book by pitching it to editor at conference or workshop.  Maybe your self-published novel will be a hit, making all your old, unsold-stuff hot.  Maybe "Christian Sexy Zombie Babysitter Mysteries" will suddenly become major new publishing trend, and Sydney will suddenly have use for your book, "Who Ate the Baby's Brain, Probably Not My Hottie Boyfriend, But Maybe Me." other than using it to prop up old table-leg.

Could be anything, as long as doesn't not require any advance effort on Sydney's part.  Is like a lottery ticket for Sydney, only cheaper.  Does not even have to go to store, or even scratch off tickets like in McDonald's game (Sydney always shreds them with her little claws before she can read them anyway, kind of like your royalty statements).

So, probably you is worth nothing to Sydney, and nothing is all she will ever do for you.  But maybe you will pay off like little Powerball, and Sydney will swoop in for her percentage, tell you you are wonderful, and then leave!  Too bad you held out hope, and did not to fire the Sydney!

Is bad to be you.

But is good to be me!


If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

 Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU! Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post! 

 While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!  Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have!  Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!  Use this LINK to find shelter near you!  GO!  AGENT SYDNEY SAYS! 

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