A while back this writer, we'll call him "Chump," sent Sydney a manuscript, asking for representation. Sydney sees how she could put special Sydney "touch" on it, but she had just thrown up on another writer's book, and didn't have it in her that day. So she passed.
Now is six months later. Chump writer is back! So is Chump writer's book, looking just like last time Sydney saw it! Only one thing different: writer submitted book themselves and have a 3-book offer from major publisher! Now Chump wants Sydney to take them on as client and negotiate the deal!
Sydney's reaction is obvious: HECKS NO!!!!!
"But," you says, "Sydney, this is free money! Almost no work, and you hate work!"
This is true, but there is one thing more important than money to Sydney... Okay, tuna. TWO things more important than money to Sydney, and the second one is SYDNEY'S EGO! How can stupid writer think they could sell manuscript without Sydney's "improvements?" Then, to adds insults to injuries, Chump GOES AHEAD AND DOES IT!
Stupid publisher buys book that agent didn't "fix?" This is crazy-talk, and Sydney is angry at them too. No sending ANY clients manuscripts to them for long time! (Not that Sydney ever sends up much of anything anyway...)
But still, Sydney thinks: FREE MONEY. FREE MONEY THAT CAN BE USED TO BUY TUNA. But what about Sydney's ego?
So Sydney has plan. Agrees she will represent deal, but ONLY if SHE is allowed to revise books first. (Ate some funny-colored cat-kibble from bottom of old bag this morning, and am ready to RUMBLE!) Is perfect plan! Goes down like this!
Publisher likes revised book better, or at least doesn't hate it so much to kill deal. Sydney's wonderfulness vindicated!
-or (more likely) -
Publisher rejects revised book, Sydney drops them as client, Chump's reputation ruined, Chump punished, publisher punished! Sydney rules as master-manipulator of publishing! Yay, Sydney! (Sure, loses free money, but is no worse off than doing nothing.)
You may think that Chump will never go for it, but you never know. They was silly enough to come back to Sydney in the first place!
It is good to me me!
Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU! Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post! While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION! Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have! Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY! Use this LINK to find shelter near you! GO! AGENT SYDNEY SAYS! If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!