Dear client,
Yes, you is right. Sydney has made some little mistake in handling your money! Maybe she forgot to send your share that royalty check, or those monies from that foreign-rights sale, or that low-dollar Hollywood option. And maybe while she was at it, maybe she forgot to send along royalty statement or other paperwork that would give you some idea you was even owed money. Thing is, some money that maybe should have gone to you didn't.
You caught me! Mys bad! Hey! Mistakes are made!
But it was not a big mistake. Just a little check! Maybe a hundred bucks. Maybe a little more. Maybe a little less. Certainly not enough to worry your pretty little head over! Just a drop! Just a drop!
But you is just one client. Sydney has many clients. Hundreds clients! A drop here. A drop there. It adds up!
Hmmm. Sydney's water bowl is suddenly overflowing! How did this happen?
Is good to be me!
PURRRRRRRRRR!
Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU! Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post! While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION! Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have! Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY! Use this LINK to find shelter near you! GO! AGENT SYDNEY SAYS!
If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
Posts
"Dear Mr. Cat, I am hoping so much that you can help me. I'm a new writer on the scene, having sold two novelettes and a short story, and I'd like to find representation for my action-horror-romance vampire novel, 'Mallory McBooberson and the Seven Sweaty Sins of Sexy Nosferatu-man.' I just know it will be a hit in New York, now all I need is someone with your kind of high level clout to put it in front of the right editor. Oh, I don't mind being robbed from as long as it doesn't happen too often. In fact, better not to tell me at all -- what I don't know doesn't hurt me, right? It's a small price to pay knowing that you, the illustrious Sydney, will be taking very good care of me and my career. All my best. Enclosed is an SASE for your response."
ReplyDeleteDear Bradrwhatevers,
ReplyDeleteSydney finds your attitude commendable, and has been eagerly ignoring your submission for the last six months so you would be properly appreciative of Sydney's response. Unfortunately, somewhere during that time, Mr. Oz has hurked a hairball the size of an SUV onto your SASE, and not even Sydney is going to touch that thing. So, no response for you!
But do not feel bad for Sydney! Sydney has big line of gullible and masochistic would-be clients, all willing to trade their dignity and financial future for a momentary illusion of literary success! So, plenty mores where you comes from!
- BadAgentSydney