Sydney Wisdom of the Day - Keeping Score

Sydney:

Hey, sports fans, one of the things Bad Agent Sydney like best about being agent is the scoring system.


It like this: Sydney gets credit for every deal that goes through Sydney's office.  People only interested in this, "what Sydney does," not how well she does it.


What that mean?  Well, say that Sydney sells a book (this has never happened, but could!) to major publisher.  Gets credit, plus rep as that agent who can sell to major publishers!


Now, say Sydney and her book-doctor Mr. Oz rewrites all client's books and they don't sell.  Nobody notice but client!  No points against Sydney!


Or say, new writer walks in door with a fat offer from a publisher.  Sydney handles contract.  Gets credit, plus reputation as that agent who gets the big-money deals!


Now, say Sydney forgets to read contract carefully.  Leaves in bad reversion and sub-rights clauses that will bite client in ass years down line.  Nobody notice but client (and maybe not them!).  No points against Sydney!


Say studio head's secretary reads book on plane and tells him what it about.  He looks at picture on cover and likes lady with boobies.  Movie deal comes out of nowhere.  Sydney handles contract.  Sydney gets credit, plus reputation as "that agent who gets Hollywood deals!"


Now, say Sydney doesn't know Hollywood and offers to take half the money for percentage of gross.  Forgets that through "magic bookkeeping," Hollywood movies never make money on paper.  Whoops!  Nobody notices till movie comes out and is old news.  No points against Sydney!


Say big-shot writer gets tired of her bad agent and fires them.  Looks around.  Sydney got reputation as deal-maker!  Also cute and soft to pet!  Big-shot signs with Sydney, and brings tons of automatic sales to Sydney's office!


Sydney locks in long-term contracts and coasts on big-shot's sales for years, long after big-shot notices Sydney is bad-agent and moves along.  Big-shot's books stay in-print forever!  Sydney lists big-shot on web-site as client forever!  Makes money off those contracts forever!  Score, score, score for Sydney!


Sydney's successes are noticed (even when they aren't really hers).  Her mistakes usually aren't (and may not be discovered for years, if ever).  If you are catching on that Sydney would have to work to lose under this scoring system, you see why Sydney is happy-agent-kitty! 


Nobody asks, was that deal well negotiated?  Was that a good contract?  Could that big deal have been bigger, or at least, better?  Writers is doo-doo-brains, and never looks or thinks beyond the surface of the deal they read about in Publisher's Lunch!


So easy for Sydney to build reputation as deal-maker, and reputation is like a big old check that Sydney can take right to the bank!


Is good to be me!


PURRRRRR!

Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU!
Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post!

While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!  Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have!  Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!  Use this LINK to find shelter near you!  GO!  AGENT SYDNEY SAYS!


If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

A Tale of Two Sydneys

Sydney:

Two things happen today to get Sydney's hackles up, so Sydney is here to set some things straight about who, and what, Sydney is!

First, is yet another case of celebrity hanger-on writing "tell-all" full of lies!  Peon-who-feeds-me-tuna J. Steven York writes post today on his "blog" about "where he gets the ideas for Bad Agent Sydney!"  The nerve!

Nobody "gets ideas" for Sydney!  This is as silly as theory that writers can "sell" books without agent intervention and improvement!  Peon writes like Sydney is just a little cat and he makes up words for Sydney! Pion is a big, fat, poopie-head!

Sydney is not just a little cat!  Sydney is big-cat-agent!  Write all her own words, and half of client's words!  (My book-doctor, Mr. Oz, writes the rest.)  

Truth is, J. Steven York is just a big-old stupid, and Sydney writes all words for HIM!  "Big Stupid Steven," is just character she makes up for him!  Big funny!  Has his own web site and Twitter account and everything!  HA!  Good joke!

Enough about that.  (GO GET ME TUNA, PEON!)

Other thing upset Sydney today is again, some writer calls Sydney "he!"  LISTEN WRITERS!  SYDNEY IS DAINTY LITTLE GIRL KITTY!  DON'T MAKE HER COME OVER AND READJUST YOUR FACE!

People is confused by Sydney's name, but Sydney is perfectly good girl name.  Here story of how Sydney gets it.  When Sydney came to live with lady-who-feeds-me-tuna Christina York, she was writing books based on "Alias" TV show.  Saw that, even as kitten, Sydney was kick-ass and in-charge, so she names me after kick-ass super-spy "Sydney Bristow," played by Jennifer Garner.  

See picture?  Surprised you never noticed resemblence.

What?  You still no see?  How about now?

PURRRRRR!

 

Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU!
Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post!

While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!  Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have!  Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!  Use this LINK to find shelter near you!  GO!  AGENT SYDNEY SAYS!


If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Sydney Wisdom of the Day - Favorites

Sydney:


Silly writers think agents treat all clients the same.  Stupid to think they should.  Stupid to think they do.  


Here is fact of life: Agents play favorites.


Sometimes not even mean to.  It just, whoever is making you money today is going get attention.  What you open first in mail, bills, or envelopes with checks?   See?


Sometimes, it not even who is making me money.  Is who is making me money with the least grief.  Sliding scale of grief vs. money is real factor in picking Sydney's favorite.


Which brings us to who is Sydney's least favorite, the one whose calls get returned last.  This is clients that cause Sydney trouble.  Sydney does not like trouble.  Is work without making money, and Sydney much prefers making money without work.


Very often, trouble is not author's fault.  Is editor's fault.  Is publisher's fault.  Is somebody else's fault.  But not writer.


Does not matter.  Trouble-stink is all over them, and these are Sydney's goats-of-the-day.


Yes, Sydney said "day."  


Sydney is fickle.  Always your friend when big checks come in and big deals are about to close.  Maybe next day you is trouble with no check, and Sydney is always "in the litter box" when you call.


But you says, "agents should treat all clients the same, and give them equal time and attention."


Sydney says, "You don't like it, call the Happy Fairy Police and have them send the Easter Bunny down to arrest me."


PURRRRR!


Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU!
Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post!

While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!  Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have!  Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!  Use this LINK to find shelter near you!  GO!  AGENT SYDNEY SAYS!


If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Sydney Wisdom of the Day - The Gate Swings Both Ways

Sydney:


You would think greatest power writers give to Bad Agent Sydney is the power to say "yes" for them. 


"Yes, we will do this book."  


"Yes, we will take this deal."


"Yes, we will sell these movie rights."


But this is not true!  Biggest power Sydney has is to say, "no."


"No, we will not do this book."


"No, this is not enough money for us to bother with."


"No, we will not sell these rights."


Reason is, client will, later if not sooner, find out when Sydney says, "yes."  


But very, very often, Sydney can say "no," and writer will never hear about it.  Never know the deals they missed, the opportunities they passed, or the decisions about their careers that were taken out of their hands.


Oh, sorry!  Not "taken."  Decisions about their careers that were given to Bad Agent Sydney.


When agents are set up as gatekeepers, we gots keys to both sides of the gate!


Is good to be in charge!


PURRRRRRR!


Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU!
Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post!

While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!  Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have!  Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!  Use this LINK to find shelter near you!  GO!  AGENT SYDNEY SAYS!


If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Writer Cat Photo Winner: Editor Kitty and human F.I. Goldhaber

Sydney:

Sydney has been busy not working this week, and not posting much.  Need more ideas for bad things do writers!  You help!  Email Sydney your bad-agent stories, suggestions, and questions!  Do now!  sydney@badagent.me

Meanwhile, time for new writer-photo contest winner!  (Not too late to enter!  Email Sydney pictures and stories!  Address back there dummy!)

Pairs of Poems

This one sent in by cat-assistant-human-person F.I. Goldhaber.  Goldharber got book of poems out: 

Buy book here.  Help supply cat treats. 

Anyway, here the good part!  New winner!  Prize: Treats for Sydney!  (My contest, my rules!)  Yum!  Also treats for winning cat, "Editor Kitty!"  Go get, F.I.!  We look at picture and read your note while you gone!

 F.I. person writes:

Here is a picture of Editor Kitty. "She is done with your manuscript now." Her preferred sleeping spot (when the sun isn't on the bed) is a cloth Powell's bag. 

Technically, she supervises my husband, Joel, who is also (when he's not studying to be a nurse) my writing partner. 

But she and I have an "arrangement." If she doesn't abuse my frail 16-year-old cat all day, she gets a Greenie. She also gets Greenies for hunting spiders. She always appreciates extra Greenies.

Spiders and Greenies!  Two great tastes that taste great together!  Yum!  You lucky kitty, Editor Kitty, but F.I. and hubby even luckier to have you!  ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!

 SEE PEOPLE!  YOU NEED CAT, EDIT YOUR MANUSCRIPT AND KILLS YOUR SPIDERS!  MANY GOOD EDITORIAL CATS NEEDS HOMES!  FIND SHELTER NEAR YOU!  CLICK LINK AT BOTTOM OF MESSAGE!  DON'T FORGET!

Wonder if Editor Kitty does freelance work?  Might need another book doctor.  Some days, Mr. Oz's claws get tired...

Mmmmm.  Now Bad Agent Sydney has craving for spiders.  Could do some work for my clients, but think I will stare at crack under front door for three or four hours instead, just in case.

PURRRRRRR!

Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU!
Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post!

While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!  Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have!  Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!  Use this LINK to find shelter near you!  GO!  AGENT SYDNEY SAYS!


If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Sydney Wisdom of the Day - Conflict of Interest

Sydney:


Dear client,


Bad news: Sydney has not sent your great new novel manuscript out to anyone!


Good news: Reason is, Sydney has decided to start her own publishing company and has cherry-picked your book to be her first release!  You would much rather be published by "Cat Box Books" than by stupid-old Putnam or Random House, right?


Do not worry.  Sydney will not charge you much for printing.

No, this is not conflict of interest.  Stop thinking that... LOOK!!!  OVER THERE!!!  A CLOWN!!!!!!


Purrrrrrr....


Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU!
Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post!

While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!  Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have!  Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!  Use this LINK to find shelter near you!  GO!  AGENT SYDNEY SAYS!


If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

U R Terminated!

Sydney:

People wonder, "hey Sydney, you work all alone at Really Bad Literary Agency?"


No, silly writers.  Sydney is very interactive kitty!  Needs peeps to echo and validate her every thought and idea!  (Just had one now: Returned check fee for clients WHEN CHECKS I WRITE ARE RETURNED!  Peeps!  Remind me later how ingenious I is!)  And of course, has Mr. Oz, my enforcer when knee-caps need biting or Rottweilers needs roughing up.  


Sydney also has sub-agents to scratch up rights in other areas, like her Hollywood agent Mr. Loki.


But at moment, Sydney has no other in-house agents in her agency.  Did try once though.  Big disaster!  Had to show that bum the cat-door!  Share a little behind-the-scenes with you here.  Here termination letter for big boob.  (Names hidden to protect the guilty!)

October 12, 2009

Mr. REDACTED, Agent

Second Desk on the Left

Really Bad Literary Agency

Dear Mr. REDACTED:

It has come to our attention that your recent actions in regards to your new client, Mr. REDACTED, are in direct violation of agency policy.  Do we need to remind you, Mr. REDACTED, that you signed a binding agreement with this agency, and that you promised to abide by all agency practices?

In particular, it appears you have bargained in good faith, provided references, and actively participated in negotiating a contract for your client.  Further, you have offered career advice without demanding repeated revisions of said client’s manuscripts, and you have followed the client’s instructions as regards various business matters.

Here at the Really Bad Literary Agency we do not do these things.  That is our policy, and it works for us.  Unfortunately, you have chosen to ignore our procedures.  Our agreement allows us to sever our relationship at any time, for any reason, and allows you to buy your way out of the contract with an early termination payment of only 10% of your annual earnings.  That’s fair – it is what we offer our clients, after all.

However, there was extra tuna this morning and I am in a good mood.  Therefore, I am willing to allow you to terminate our relationship without payment.  It saves us both time and effort, and you can offer whatever explanation you prefer to your client to explain your departure.  But should you choose to denigrate the agency in any way, my good mood will evaporate quickly.

This is not REDACTED & Cat, Mr. REDACTED.  You do not set policy for this agency.  If you cannot abide by our agreement, we will expect your resignation forthwith.

Sincerely,

Sydney T. Cat

Owner and Senior Agent

The Really Bad Literary Agency

That's how it went down.  You know, sometimes scooping not enough.  Got to dump the cat box and start fresh.


PURRRR!

Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU!
Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post!

While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!  Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have!  Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!  Use this LINK to find shelter near you!  GO!  AGENT SYDNEY SAYS!


If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Sydney Wisdom of the Day - Gatekeeper

Sydney:


Sydney has set herself up as gatekeeper that writers must pass if ever want get published.  Actually, that not true.  Sydney do nothing!  Writers set her up as gatekeeper.  Set all agents up as gatekeeper.


But what is Sydney gatekeeper of?  Is no wall between writers and publishing!  Obstacle course, maybe, but not wall!


Sure, many publishers say, "not take unagented submissions."  This very good for Sydney!  Even though she is very bad agent (PURRRR!), people still line up to be her client, because they think she key to gate on nonexistent wall!  Makes stupid writers think ANY agent better than no agent at all!  Never get published without agent!  Everybody know this!


HA!  Not true!  Stupid writers not think, and this is good for Bad Agents like Sydney!  Many ways through non-existent wall!  Sure, many publishers not take unagented manuscripts, but not all!  Some not take "unsolicited," and this different than "unagented."  Send good query letter!  Get request for manuscript.  Talk to editor at writer's conference!  Get request for manuscript or proposal.  Enter contests (good contests) that get attention from publishers.  Network, do whatever takes to get your best work to editors!  


Or (this no big secret) mail book anyway!  May not read, but might!  Worst thing happen?  Throw out!  You out paper, ink, and postage!  BIG DEAL!  Mail next publisher, try again.


Here's the secret: Editors want two things, not read all the cat-box-worthy manuscripts that come in slush, and to READ GREAT NEW BOOKS FROM PEOPLE THEY NEVER HEARD OF!  EDITORS NOT TRYING TO KEEP GOOD PEOPLE OUT, JUST CRAP!  EDITORS ALWAYS WANT GREAT NEW THING!


Of course, statistics say, you probably crap.  But if you think you are not, if others say you good (and not just grandma and that person you pay for sex), then maybe you run obstacle course, get book offer, and THEN you can always get agent!  Sydney will be waiting!  (But, Sydney supposes, you can also get a GOOD agent if you careful, and if you must!)


Or you can just sit on butt, staring at wall-that-is-not-there, crying about how you never get published.  That okay.  Editors not want crap, and that make you crap-by-default!


PURRRRR!


Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU!
Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post!

While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!  Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have!  Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!  Use this LINK to find shelter near you!  GO!  AGENT SYDNEY SAYS!


If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Sydney Wisdom of the Day - Lost in Translation

Sydney:

Stupid writers treat Bad Agent Sydney like telephone.  Sydney talk to editor.  Editor tell client what editor say, more or less, with that special added Sydney "spin," and stupid writers take as gospel!


STUPID WRITERS!  SYDNEY IS NOT TELEPHONE!  SYDNEY IS NOT VOICE RECORDER!  SYDNEY IS JUST A LITTLE CAT!


But do writers pick up phone to talk directly to editor and verify what Sydney say?  No!  Do they pick up phone and seek clarification and elaboration?  No!  Do they send email to avoid errors in translation?  No!


Dumb writers.  Even with the best of intentions, talking through third parties can result in misunderstandings and problems.  Sure, agent should talk to editor.  Can ask questions writer can't comfortably ask, brooch issues difficult for writer to bring up.  But once this done, if writers were smart, they would follow up and verify EVERYTHING!


Even with best of intentions, stuff happens.  Even with big, human-agent brains (overkill you ask me!), agent forget things, misunderstand things, give writer or editor wrong impression of intent.  Even with best of intentions, and SYDNEY IS BAD AGENT!  NO BEST INTENTIONS HERE!  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


PURRRRRRR...

Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU!
Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post!

While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!  Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have!  Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!  Use this LINK to find shelter near you!  GO!  AGENT SYDNEY SAYS!


If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Writer-cat photo contest winners, Lacey, Grady, FlufferBelle and human Mary Jo Putney

Sydney:

Got new writer-cat photo winner today!  Big day!  Not one kitty, but three!  THIS MEANS BIG PRIZE IS SYDNEY GETS THREE TREATS!!!  Also Lacey, Grady, and FlufferBelle.  (Sydney thinks this right.  From Jo's message, could be other cats name Sofa, Grey Guy,  Reggie, and Rascal.  Sydney not clear on this, but important to figure out!  Could get MORE treats!)


Kitties rescued by writer Mary Jo Putney, who must now give all these kitties, whoever they are TREATS!  Get to work Mary Jo!  We look at pictures while you gone!

Mary Jo writes this for kitties: 

Attached are pictures of Lacey on the Sofa, Grady the Gray Guy, and FlufferBelle.  They were SPCA specials--Grady was the full price cat, Lacey the half price puss.  Grady and the Fluffster both have pictures by the monitor which show who they help me with my writing.  Grady, having a Y chromosome and much confidence, is relaxed about the newer rescues, FlufferBelle and Reggie The Rascal.  Lacey, being high strung, hates them both and has a yowl that will peel paint.  Despite the drama queen antics, though, they rub along reasonably well.

  - Mary Jo Putney, who thinks that cats channel creativity from the astral plane

Sydney does not know about "Astral Plane."  She is saving up to buy Gulfstream full of Tuna though.  ("Gulfstream full of tuna" like a big, tasty, pun that flies though, so that pretty creative I guess.)

Even with many cats to help, Mary Jo writes many books, sells many books.  See, here's one she write:

No cat on cover though (just dressy people with no heads!), so probably not very good!  Still, she sell, writers!  Maybe you go rescue three kitties, give good homes, you sell too!


Also, go buy Mary Jo's books!  Help support her kitties!  Need new bathrooms so everybody has own sink!  GO!  BUY NOW!  I WAIT!


Okay, now go adopt kitties overlords of your own!  Find shelter near you using link at bottom of message!  IS AT BOTTOM OF EVERY MESSAGE SYDNEY POSTS NOW!  WHY SOME YOU NOT GOT KITTY SUPERVISION YET!?!


(Homeless kitties!  Hang on!  Sydney is working fast as can!  Stupid writers!  Is like herding -- well -- cats...)


                         - Syd


Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU!
Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post!

While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!  Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have!  Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!  Use this LINK to find shelter near you!  GO!  AGENT SYDNEY SAYS!


If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Sydney Wisdom of the Day - Ego

Sydney:


Bad Agent Sydney's ego depends on her being center of universe, and thus, she must occasionally extend her munificence to others in order to demonstrate it.


She reads your manuscript: Doing you favor.


She takes you as client: Doing you BIG favor!


She returns your calls: Doing you BIG, BIG favor!


She actually sends something out for you, doing you HUGE favor!


The more important the little things Sydney does are, the more important Sydney herself is!  NOTHING happen for writers without Sydney-gifts!  Sydney like publishing God!


Screw Zod!  Kneel before Sydney!  Worship at my altar, and leave offerings of tuna for me!


You buying all this, right?  


Is good to be me!


PURRRR!


Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU!
Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post!

While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!  Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have!  Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!  Use this LINK to find shelter near you!  GO!  AGENT SYDNEY SAYS!


If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!