Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Sydney Wisdom of the Day - Gatekeeper


Sydney has set herself up as gatekeeper that writers must pass if ever want get published.  Actually, that not true.  Sydney do nothing!  Writers set her up as gatekeeper.  Set all agents up as gatekeeper.

But what is Sydney gatekeeper of?  Is no wall between writers and publishing!  Obstacle course, maybe, but not wall!

Sure, many publishers say, "not take unagented submissions."  This very good for Sydney!  Even though she is very bad agent (PURRRR!), people still line up to be her client, because they think she key to gate on nonexistent wall!  Makes stupid writers think ANY agent better than no agent at all!  Never get published without agent!  Everybody know this!

HA!  Not true!  Stupid writers not think, and this is good for Bad Agents like Sydney!  Many ways through non-existent wall!  Sure, many publishers not take unagented manuscripts, but not all!  Some not take "unsolicited," and this different than "unagented."  Send good query letter!  Get request for manuscript.  Talk to editor at writer's conference!  Get request for manuscript or proposal.  Enter contests (good contests) that get attention from publishers.  Network, do whatever takes to get your best work to editors!  

Or (this no big secret) mail book anyway!  May not read, but might!  Worst thing happen?  Throw out!  You out paper, ink, and postage!  BIG DEAL!  Mail next publisher, try again.

Here's the secret: Editors want two things, not read all the cat-box-worthy manuscripts that come in slush, and to READ GREAT NEW BOOKS FROM PEOPLE THEY NEVER HEARD OF!  EDITORS NOT TRYING TO KEEP GOOD PEOPLE OUT, JUST CRAP!  EDITORS ALWAYS WANT GREAT NEW THING!

Of course, statistics say, you probably crap.  But if you think you are not, if others say you good (and not just grandma and that person you pay for sex), then maybe you run obstacle course, get book offer, and THEN you can always get agent!  Sydney will be waiting!  (But, Sydney supposes, you can also get a GOOD agent if you careful, and if you must!)

Or you can just sit on butt, staring at wall-that-is-not-there, crying about how you never get published.  That okay.  Editors not want crap, and that make you crap-by-default!


Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU!
Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post!

While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!  Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have!  Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!  Use this LINK to find shelter near you!  GO!  AGENT SYDNEY SAYS!

If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

1 comment:

  1. Dear Bad Agent Sydney,

    You good bad agent Sydney. You make Sam laugh.
    When Sam laugh, I laugh, because I am Sam.
    You cat, so you always right. Thank you Bad Agent Sydney.

    Sam Longoria