Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Sydney Wisdom of the Day - I Love Commas

Sydney:

Client came to Sydney recently wanting Sydney to track down missing royalty statements on her low-mid-list book.  What?  Like Sydney has nothing better to do?


Why Sydney not care?  If there is money, Sydney gets cut, right?


Trouble is, this is not big book.  If there is money, and this is only if, it is what Sydney calls "no comma money."  This means a number with no comma in it.  Sure, this could be big deal for author, but Sydney only gets 15%  So for Sydney, even comma money could be as little as $150!  That will not even pay this week's tuna bill!


Sydney is all about the bottom line, and your little checks is not that!  Sure, little checks add up, but so does work!  SYDNEY DOES NOT WANT WORK!  Sydney has no time for your little, tiny concerns!


You is not worth my time little peoples!


This is so upsetting, Sydney will have to go take naps now.  Sorry clients!  No work for you today!


PURRRRRRR!

Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU! Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post! While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!  Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have!  Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!  Use this LINK to find shelter near you!  GO!  AGENT SYDNEY SAYS! If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Friday, May 7, 2010

Special Memorial Writer Cat Photo Winner - Ezri Dax

Sydney:

Sydney is behind on her cat photo winner postings, and is feeling especially bad about it today.  Word has reached Sydney's office of recent, sad passing of most-excellent writer-supervision-cat Ezri Dax, who looked after writers Kristine Rusch and Dean Wesley Smith.  


Sydney has had picture of Ezri here for some time and had been planning to make winner, but fell behind.  Now is too late for her to win treats, and this makes Sydney very sad.


Sydney did not know Ezri well, though Sydney comes from the same neighborhood.  Somehow our paths not cross.  Traveled in different circles, I guess, or different levels.  But as regular readers know, Kristine Rusch is big pain in Sydney's side most of the time, and Hat-man Smith is always making with the crazy-writer-talk, and takes extra special kitty to supervise writers such as these!


Sydney is very sad for them that they do not have wonderful Ezri to tell them what to do any more.  Fortunately, they have other excellent cats to supervise them too.  Apparently, they is so bad that even wonderful cat like Ezri Dax could not manage them alone!  Sydney has pictures of other kitties and will post soon, but today is all about Ezri!


So here is picture of Ezri Dax.  ALL READERS GIVE TREATS TO YOUR KITTIES IN EZRI'S HONOR!  DO NOW!


Sydney buries hatchet (for today) and sends sympathy rubs to Kris-lady and Hat-man.


SNIFF!


Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU! Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post! While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!  Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have!  Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!  Use this LINK to find shelter near you!  GO!  AGENT SYDNEY SAYS!

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Sydney Wisdom of the Day - Conference Confusion

Sydney:

Sydney has heard that some people are confused about what to do at writer's conferences.  Some silly people think they should be learning about craft, talking to other writers, learning business, listening to editors.


NO STUPID PEOPLES!  ALL IS ABOUT GETTING AGENT!  WITHOUT AGENT IS NO POINT!  CAN NOT SELL BOOK WITHOUT AGENT!  NO POINT IN WRITING BOOK WITHOUT AGENT!  GET PRIORITIES STRAIGHT!!!!


Focus all attention on agents!  Ignore editors!  Ignore writers!  LISTEN ONLY TO WHAT AGENTS SAY!  Do what necessary to curry agent favor and attention!  Flattery!  Gifts!  Whipped-cream bikini!  TUNA!


Remember: WITHOUT AGENT, U IS NOTHING!


Now, we got that straight...


PURRRR!


Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU! Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post! While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!  Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have!  Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!  Use this LINK to find shelter near you!  GO!  AGENT SYDNEY SAYS! If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!