Sydney:

Stupid clients: of COURSE Sydney knows far more about publishing contracts than you do.  Sydney spends much times with contracts (she sleeps on top of piles of them all the time) and is an expert on law, even though she has never gone to law school or passed any bar or watched more than half an episode of "Boston Legal" without curling up in people's lap and falling asleeps!

Why?  Because Sydney is AGENT!  Went to Blogwart's School of Agenting, where after much teachings drank the magic Potion of Knowing and was issued mystical Contract Wand!

HAHAHAHAHAHA!  You writers will believe anything!  Sydney loves using your imagination against you!  Does not matter if Sydney went to imaginary and almost certainly not trademarked school or not!  As with all things, writers believe that because Sydney calls herself "agent," she has magic powers, like Santa or Tooth Fairy!  Sydney's phone calls are better than theirs.  Sydney's letters are better than theirs.  Sydney's mailings are better than theirs.  And most CERTAINLY, all Sydney's knowings are better than theirs.

So do not be coming to Sydney questioning "organ donation clause," or "do-not-resuscitate clause."  Is just standard publishing boilerplate with no real meanings!  Is above your pay-grade to understand!  If it were important, Sydney would tell you so!  Certainly you should NOT refer it to a lawyer -- or the FBI.

Now goes away!  Sydney has to go fill the bathtub with ice.

Is good to be me!

PURRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

 Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU! Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post! While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!  Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have!  Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!  Use this LINK to find shelter near you!  GO!  AGENT SYDNEY SAYS! If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Sydney Wisdom of the Day: A Drop in the Water Bowl

Sydney:

Dear client,


Yes, you is right.  Sydney has made some little mistake in handling your money!  Maybe she forgot to send your share that royalty check, or those monies from that foreign-rights sale, or that low-dollar Hollywood option.  And maybe while she was at it, maybe she forgot to send along royalty statement or other paperwork that would give you some idea you was even owed money.  Thing is, some money that maybe should have gone to you didn't.


You caught me!  Mys bad!  Hey!  Mistakes are made!  


But it was not a big mistake.  Just a little check!  Maybe a hundred bucks.  Maybe a little more.  Maybe a little less.  Certainly not enough to worry your pretty little head over!  Just a drop!  Just a drop!


But you is just one client.  Sydney has many clients.  Hundreds clients!  A drop here.  A drop there.  It adds up!


Hmmm.  Sydney's water bowl is suddenly overflowing!  How did this happen?


Is good to be me!


PURRRRRRRRRR!  

Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU! Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post! While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!  Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have!  Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!  Use this LINK to find shelter near you!  GO!  AGENT SYDNEY SAYS!

If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Sydney Wisdom of the Day - The Gate Swings Both Ways

Sydney:


You would think greatest power writers give to Bad Agent Sydney is the power to say "yes" for them. 


"Yes, we will do this book."  


"Yes, we will take this deal."


"Yes, we will sell these movie rights."


But this is not true!  Biggest power Sydney has is to say, "no."


"No, we will not do this book."


"No, this is not enough money for us to bother with."


"No, we will not sell these rights."


Reason is, client will, later if not sooner, find out when Sydney says, "yes."  


But very, very often, Sydney can say "no," and writer will never hear about it.  Never know the deals they missed, the opportunities they passed, or the decisions about their careers that were taken out of their hands.


Oh, sorry!  Not "taken."  Decisions about their careers that were given to Bad Agent Sydney.


When agents are set up as gatekeepers, we gots keys to both sides of the gate!


Is good to be in charge!


PURRRRRRR!


Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU!
Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post!

While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!  Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have!  Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!  Use this LINK to find shelter near you!  GO!  AGENT SYDNEY SAYS!


If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Sydney Wisdom of the Day - Trust but Verify

Sydney:


They say, "a little knowledge is a dangerous thing."


It's true!


Fortunately, most of my clients never even bother to get even a little knowledge of what I'm up to with their business!


PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Sydney Wisdom of the Day - Licensing

Sydney:


Just the other day, a potential client asked to see my "agent license." My AGENT LICENCE!


I told them, "sure! I'll have the tooth fairy, Santa Claus, and an honest politician bring it right over for you!"


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!


If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Sydney Wisdom of the Day - Uncertainty

Sydney:


Putting an agent into the middle of financial transaction like a book deal puts an entirely new layer of confusion, uncertainty, and delay into an industry already rife with confusion, uncertainty, and delay.


That certainly leaves me a lot of room to maneuver.


PURRRRRRRRR!

If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!