Showing posts with label estates. Show all posts
Showing posts with label estates. Show all posts

Friday, December 13, 2013

Sydney:

Good news! Sydney has just amended her 432 page agent/author agreement!  

Now not even death will separate you from Sydney's tender mercies!  Now Sydney gets to play with  screw  rob  help your estate too!  This is good for you because you will be dead and will not see what Sydney is doing!  Also good for you that you really didn't like all those relatives anyway, and now Sydney can screw with them for you when you are gone!

Is good to be me!

PURRRRRRR!



Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU! Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post! While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!  Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have!  Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!  Use this LINK to find shelter near you!  GO!  AGENT SYDNEY SAYS! If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Sydney:

Words is money.


Sydney has been scooping up many writer's estates, and signing writers that is largely retired and is not keeping up with changes in publishing, offering to handle their back-lists.  Scooping up like plump little mousies!  Yum!


Sydney knows how to sell words (especially good words written by professional writers) by the pound, turning them into cash!  Sydney has her own publishing company on side.  (Oh!  Whoopses!  Is just publishing company that is just happens to be BESIDE Sydney.  Is not connected!  Oh, no, oh noes!)  Anyway, this almost certainly unconnected company publishes all these words as ebooks and print-on-demand books!  Only a little bit, because company does not do very good job on conversions or formattings or covers, but does not matter, because Sydney works in bulk!


Then, somehows (does not want to know how) bails of money fall into Sydney's mail-slot.  KLUNK!  There's anotherones!


Oh, wait!  What is this envelope here under bail of money?  Oh, is from publisher trying to buy rights to one of Sydney's estate books! Sydney has dealt with these bad peoples before!  Wants to offer estate much more moneys than Sydney's bulk deal.  More money for estate, but LESS FOR SYDNEY!  THIS CANNOT STAND!


But do not worries!  Sydney has easy solution!  Just does not pass deal along!  Tells publisher to go away!  But this new letter, they is asking for contact information for estate, so can take offer to them directly.  WELL, SYDNEY WILL NOT TELL!


Does not have to.


Will just keep estate in dark, and feed them -- well, you knows!


KLUNK!


Is good to me me!


PURRRRRRRR!





 Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU! Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post! While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!  Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have!  Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!  Use this LINK to find shelter near you!  GO!  AGENT SYDNEY SAYS! If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Sydney Wisdom of the Day: Where There's a Will, There's a Won't

Sydney:

Client asks Sydney today if Sydney has a will.  Sydney get's all huffy, asks what business of it is client's?  Client slinks away.  


Makes Sydney purr, because Sydney knows EXACTLY what business of it is clients: is ALL of client's business!  See, when you is making deal with agent who owns agency, you is potentially making deal with agent's estate, and everyone involved, too!


See, agency and deals don't just go aways because agent is dead!  (Or maybe worses, incapacitated!)  Let's say Sydney, cat-Gods forbid, Sydney is hit by bus tomorrow:  Okay, Sydney wins that one.  But suppose TWO BIGGER buses and a convoy of semi-truckses hits Sydney and Sydney is killeded. (Or put in coma, though that would be hard to tell!)


All contracts negotiated by Sydney become assets of the estate!  All payments: every check, every royalty payment, every subsidiary right goes through estate!  Lawyer, maybe judge, must sign off on every bit of monies that goes through!  And lawyers and judges not even PRETEND to care about you like Sydney does (did)!  Theys is just interested in keeping as many assets in the estate as possible!  And this assumes they even KNOW they're supposed to pay you!  Maybe they look at box of shredded papers that is Sydney's "filing system" and just scratch heads!  Maybe they cannot find Sydney's address books or phone book because she has hidden them under loose-board next to litter box!  Maybe (probably) they knows nothing about publishing business, and does not even understand they is supposed to send percentages to you!  (Hey, at least Bad Agent Sydney sent along about one check out of three, just to keep up appearances!)


And no matter how bad things get, your old work is still tangled up on Sydney-estate's business!  If you signed Sydney's excellent new agency agreement that gives her right to portion of all new works in any away derived from, based upon, or stored in the same room or computer or skull with represented work, then estate could be rabid monkey on yourses back for rest of life!


Of course, if you is with a larger agency, this may be lesses of a problem.  Agency more likely to continue on, though in that case, yous can have issues if PRINCIPLE in agency dies (or has nasty divorce with another principle, or gets hauled into court on sexual harassment charges, or...), even if yours agent is on macrobiotic diet and jogging six miles a day!


So Sydney just laughs at poor client, who still exists in state of ignorances and uncertainty!  Just betweens you and me, Sydney has no will!  Just poor record keeping, legacy of fraudulent accounting, large-unpaid gambling debts, and a host of semi-insane "lost" relatives who all hate each other more than they care about money.  Yours future is in good hands!!


NOT!!!


But Sydney does not care!


Sydney will be watching and laughing from Cat heaven!  (Sure, she sells her soul to Dark Forces, possible Darth Vader himself, but has 20% of all YOUR souls to cash in on!)


Is good to me me!


You, not soes much!


PURRRRRRRRRRR! 



 Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU! Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post! While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!  Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have!  Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!  Use this LINK to find shelter near you!  GO!  AGENT SYDNEY SAYS! If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!