Good news, client! Sydney has sold Hollywood option on your book!
Has sold to new production company called "Bad Producer Sydney" Productions. No relation, of course!
Well, okay, a little, in that its is wholly owned by me! But Sydney does not make the movies, of courses! Sydney will sell yours book to REAL movie-makers. Don't worries! Producer Sydney will send money to you, less 25% management fee! (Of course, Agent Sydney will also take her 20% for selling to Producer Sydney. Is only fair!)
Sydney gets you good deal! Not much money up front, but gets you 2% of gross profits, whichs is much better than percent of net profit! In Hollywood, "net" means they will throw net over yous if yous is crazy enough to thinks you will get paid. "Gross" only means it would be gross if they ever actually had to pay anybody!
Of course, if you does not make much, Bad Agent Sydney's cut is small too. But do not feel bad for Bad Agent Sydney! Bad Producer Sydney makes her own deal! Sydney is credited producer on movie! No work, but Sydney makes fat check that she shares with nobodies, trailer stocked with tunas, plus 5% of the budget! (Which means Sydney gets paid if it gets made, even if it is never released!)
Also, Sydney's name is before yourses in credits!
Sydney must go now. Already has deal to write script for sequel! Already gots opening:
FADE OUT - YOU
Is good to be me!
Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU! Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post! While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION! Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have! Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY! Use this LINK to find shelter near you! GO! AGENT SYDNEY SAYS! If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!