Sydney Wisdom of the Day - Extrapolation

Sydney:

Sydney does not like to do work.  Submitting client's manuscripts: HARD!  Cut into Sydney's nap time!  But Sydney has time-tested Bad Agent technique to keep nasty work under control.  Is called "Extrapolation."


Here, I show you how work. 


Right now Sydney is looking at rejection from one junior editor at major publishing house:


"Sorry.  This is a great read and lots of fun, but left-handed pirate books aren't working for us right now.  Right-handed privateers are more the rage right now.  The writing is wonderful though, and we'd love to see more from this author."


From this, Sydney can extrapolate many things:


1. Nobody at this house will buy anything with left-handed pirates.
1a. Or pirates.
1b. Or left handed protagonists.

2. Nobody at ANY house will buy anything with left-handed pirates.

2a. Or pirates.

2b. Or left handed protagonists.

3.  Also client cannot sell, and Sydney should give up on them (not really the subject of this post).

So, anytime Sydney gets manuscript from ANY client with left-handed pirate, or pirate, or left-handed protagonist, or this client, is waste of Sydney's time and energy to send out.  Goes in "ignore" pile to be professionally ignored for duration of emergency.

This goes on, possibly for years, until that big left-handed pirate book that all the teenage girls love comes out, stays at top of Times list for six months.  THEN Sydney send out (except for stuff from that worthless client), creating glut just in time to watch trend fizzle.  Then can start sending out letters, "nobody buys left-handed pirate, or pirate, or left-handed books any more" again.

This may not seem smart, lose Sydney money.  But Sydney is not trend setter.  Setting trends is work.

Excuse me.  I gots to go ignore some pirate books...

PURRRR!

Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU!
Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post!

While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!  Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have!  Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!  Use this LINK to find shelter near you!  GO!  AGENT SYDNEY SAYS!


If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Sydney:

Clients, perhaps you have noticed that your advances has been getting smaller! This is not Sydney's problem, and you is not Sydney's only client! Sydney is not about individual advances! Fifteen (wait, twenty!) percent of your advance is not much for Sydney, but this is okay! Sydney is about quantity, not quality! Fifteen percent (no, twenty!) of a lot of crappy advances will keep Bad Agent Sydney in the tunas!

It is good to be me! (You, not so much.)

                                         -PURRRRR!

Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU! Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post! While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!  Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have!  Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!  Use this LINK to find shelter near you!  GO!  AGENT SYDNEY SAYS! If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Sydney:

Good news! Sydney has just amended her 432 page agent/author agreement!  

Now not even death will separate you from Sydney's tender mercies!  Now Sydney gets to play with  screw  rob  help your estate too!  This is good for you because you will be dead and will not see what Sydney is doing!  Also good for you that you really didn't like all those relatives anyway, and now Sydney can screw with them for you when you are gone!

Is good to be me!

PURRRRRRR!



Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU! Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post! While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!  Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have!  Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!  Use this LINK to find shelter near you!  GO!  AGENT SYDNEY SAYS! If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Sydney is Feeling Better

Sydney is feeling better, and we are all in trouble...

Steve:

I just realized that it's been a while since we made a post here.  Just in case anyone was worrying, Bad Agent Sydney (or rather Sydney, the real cat who plays her on the internet) is well past her crisis and doing very well.  She's on steroids for her breathing problems, and they seem to help quite a bit, but if anything, she is more cranky and willful than ever.  And of course, she isn't good about taking her pills.  She refuses Greenies pill pockets for some reason (despite loving regular Greenies like kitty-crack) and has learned to glup down a whole spoonful of tuna instantly while leaving the pill buried inside behind.  Pretty much the only way to get it in her is to shove it down her throat with your finger and then rub her throat till she swallows it.  As you can imagine, this goes poorly for all involved.  But she is feeling better.

Last night in the living room she jumped into my lap, then stepped over onto my side table (where the Greenies jar and her hair brush are kept, along with less important stuff belonging to me, like my pad, phone, reading material, etc.) and proceeded to quite deliberately push things off onto the floor, then tried to break into the treat jar.  

When I took it away and gave her a couple treats before relocating it out of her reach, she went back to pushing things off, and then started pawing at her brush.  Then I brushed her, which she enjoyed greatly, right up until the point at which she turned around and chomped my hand.  I chased her back onto the floor, at which point she sat on the floor and burned holes in me with her eyes for the next twenty minutes.

That's our Sydney!

 Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU! Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post! While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!  Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have!  Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!  Use this LINK to find shelter near you!  GO!  AGENT SYDNEY SAYS! If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

For The Record

Sub-Assistant Chris Here:
Sydney instructed me to make two things clear to all her followers:

1. Stoopid humans give her special foods but she disdains them.  Wants cheap supermarket fishy treats, like you.  Sydney is kitteh of the peoples.

2,  Though sickness requires more naps, Sydney is working as hard as ever for all her clients.



Sydney: Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU! Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post! While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!  Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have!  Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!  Use this LINK to find shelter near you!  GO!  AGENT SYDNEY SAYS! If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Cat Assistant Steve here...

I'm sad to report that Sydney, the real-life cat who has "played" the fictional Bad Agent Sydney these past few years, and who is the inspiration for her diva personality, is quite ill.  She started sneezing and coughing a few days ago.  It seemed to get better yesterday, then went the other way last night.  She was quite warm and lethargic, and lost interest in her beloved Greenie treats, which scared me more than anything.  We got her into the vet this morning as early as possible, and after $400 or so worth of tests (some of which we are admittedly waiting for results on), we still don't know what is wrong.  

The X-Rays show that her lungs are congested, and she was running a temperature of 106 (101 is normal).  It could be a whole shopping list of things, from treatable, to maintainable to fatal.  We just don't know.  They gave her injections of antibiotics and a fast-acting steroids and she is home now.  We're watching her closely, making her comfortable, and hoping for improvement (and that maybe the test results will tell us more).

Sydney could use your good thoughts right now.  If you're feeling generous, you could help out her vet bills by buying her ebook, or making a donation at the button below.  But it would be enough if you just go give your pet a hug right now. (And if you don't have a pet, go rescue one from your local shelter right away. Sydney would like that.)

               -Steve

 Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU! Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post! While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!  Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have!  Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!  Use this LINK to find shelter near you!  GO!  AGENT SYDNEY SAYS! If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Sydney:

People ask the Sydney, "why do you not post more of your Bad Agent wisdoms on your blog?"  Well, first of all, Sydney is lazy.  Basically, from the end of last summer till now was all one, big, nap!

Second of all, Sydney mostly reports here on her Bad Agent schemes, but Sydney is too lazy to come up with new ones.  Sydney just copies ideas from other two-legged agents that she hears about!  The thing is, other agents just don't come up with that many new ideas.  Apparently all the old ideas for scams, schemes, screw-ups and rip-offs that Sydney has already written about work just fine! Writers is just as gullible as evers!  It is good to be an agent!

That does not mean that agents does not come up with new schemes now and then.  Sydney will try and pick up on some of them and report them, because just as much as Sydney is lazy, she is now also bored!

In the mean times, notice that Sydney is back to posting most weekdays on the Twitters!  Be sure to follow her at @badagentsydney for your daily (sometimes, mostly) does of Sydney!

Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU! Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post! While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!  Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have!  Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!  Use this LINK to find shelter near you!  GO!  AGENT SYDNEY SAYS! If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

You're a Keeper!

Sydney:

Dear Client:

You are a keeper!

Noes, noes, stop with the jumping and clapping.  Is not a good thing.

See, "keepers" is what Sydney calls clients she has stopped working for, but simply not bothered to kick to the curb.  Sydney does not return your calls.  Sydney does not send out your manuscripts.  Sydney does not pitch your books.  Sydney just keeps you in her dusty files, taking up space, until you either go away, die, or somehow become valuable to her.  And it is this last that is the ONLY reason Sydney keeps you around.

How could that happen?  Well, somebody could find an old copy of your manuscript behind an editor's desk , love it and make an offer.  Maybe you could sell your own book by pitching it to editor at conference or workshop.  Maybe your self-published novel will be a hit, making all your old, unsold-stuff hot.  Maybe "Christian Sexy Zombie Babysitter Mysteries" will suddenly become major new publishing trend, and Sydney will suddenly have use for your book, "Who Ate the Baby's Brain, Probably Not My Hottie Boyfriend, But Maybe Me." other than using it to prop up old table-leg.

Could be anything, as long as doesn't not require any advance effort on Sydney's part.  Is like a lottery ticket for Sydney, only cheaper.  Does not even have to go to store, or even scratch off tickets like in McDonald's game (Sydney always shreds them with her little claws before she can read them anyway, kind of like your royalty statements).

So, probably you is worth nothing to Sydney, and nothing is all she will ever do for you.  But maybe you will pay off like little Powerball, and Sydney will swoop in for her percentage, tell you you are wonderful, and then leave!  Too bad you held out hope, and did not to fire the Sydney!

Is bad to be you.

But is good to be me!

PURRRRRRRRRR!

If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

 Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU! Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post! 

 While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!  Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have!  Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!  Use this LINK to find shelter near you!  GO!  AGENT SYDNEY SAYS! 

Science proves Sydney not just most important site on the Internet, Sydney IS the internets!

Sydney:

Dear Clients (and World):


For years, Sydney has been telling you she is more important than any of  you.  Now, thanks to Google labs, Sydney has SCIENTIFICAL PROOF of her importance.  See, Google builds uber-smart, artificial-intelligence computer with 16,000 cores.  (Sydney does not know what "cores" is, but number is impressive.  When in doubt, Sydney loves to confuse clients with big numbers!)  Google sets super-smart brain loose on internet to scan TEN MILLION (Look!  Another number!) digital images to see what great wisdom it would learn.


So, what does computer come back and say is sum total of internet, the answer to life, the cyberspaces, and everythings?  Here it is:

Yesses!  It's ME!

Maybes you think this is big joke, but is not!  Reads all about it yourself in the New York Times!

You may begin worshiping Sydney now!  (What, you weren't already?)  


Being most important thing on internet is very tiring.  Sydney will go take 86,400 seconds (See!  Another number!) worth of naps now!  Sorry clients!  No work for you today!


Is good to be me!


PURRRR!




 Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU! Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post! While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!  Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have!  Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!  Use this LINK to find shelter near you!  GO!  AGENT SYDNEY SAYS!

 If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donation her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Sydney:

Stupid clients: of COURSE Sydney knows far more about publishing contracts than you do.  Sydney spends much times with contracts (she sleeps on top of piles of them all the time) and is an expert on law, even though she has never gone to law school or passed any bar or watched more than half an episode of "Boston Legal" without curling up in people's lap and falling asleeps!

Why?  Because Sydney is AGENT!  Went to Blogwart's School of Agenting, where after much teachings drank the magic Potion of Knowing and was issued mystical Contract Wand!

HAHAHAHAHAHA!  You writers will believe anything!  Sydney loves using your imagination against you!  Does not matter if Sydney went to imaginary and almost certainly not trademarked school or not!  As with all things, writers believe that because Sydney calls herself "agent," she has magic powers, like Santa or Tooth Fairy!  Sydney's phone calls are better than theirs.  Sydney's letters are better than theirs.  Sydney's mailings are better than theirs.  And most CERTAINLY, all Sydney's knowings are better than theirs.

So do not be coming to Sydney questioning "organ donation clause," or "do-not-resuscitate clause."  Is just standard publishing boilerplate with no real meanings!  Is above your pay-grade to understand!  If it were important, Sydney would tell you so!  Certainly you should NOT refer it to a lawyer -- or the FBI.

Now goes away!  Sydney has to go fill the bathtub with ice.

Is good to be me!

PURRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

 Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU! Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post! While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!  Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have!  Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!  Use this LINK to find shelter near you!  GO!  AGENT SYDNEY SAYS! If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Sydney:

Words is money.


Sydney has been scooping up many writer's estates, and signing writers that is largely retired and is not keeping up with changes in publishing, offering to handle their back-lists.  Scooping up like plump little mousies!  Yum!


Sydney knows how to sell words (especially good words written by professional writers) by the pound, turning them into cash!  Sydney has her own publishing company on side.  (Oh!  Whoopses!  Is just publishing company that is just happens to be BESIDE Sydney.  Is not connected!  Oh, no, oh noes!)  Anyway, this almost certainly unconnected company publishes all these words as ebooks and print-on-demand books!  Only a little bit, because company does not do very good job on conversions or formattings or covers, but does not matter, because Sydney works in bulk!


Then, somehows (does not want to know how) bails of money fall into Sydney's mail-slot.  KLUNK!  There's anotherones!


Oh, wait!  What is this envelope here under bail of money?  Oh, is from publisher trying to buy rights to one of Sydney's estate books! Sydney has dealt with these bad peoples before!  Wants to offer estate much more moneys than Sydney's bulk deal.  More money for estate, but LESS FOR SYDNEY!  THIS CANNOT STAND!


But do not worries!  Sydney has easy solution!  Just does not pass deal along!  Tells publisher to go away!  But this new letter, they is asking for contact information for estate, so can take offer to them directly.  WELL, SYDNEY WILL NOT TELL!


Does not have to.


Will just keep estate in dark, and feed them -- well, you knows!


KLUNK!


Is good to me me!


PURRRRRRRR!





 Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU! Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post! While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!  Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have!  Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!  Use this LINK to find shelter near you!  GO!  AGENT SYDNEY SAYS! If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

You May Already Be Bad Agent Sydney's Client!

Sydney:


All the times, people is asking Sydney if she is taking new clients, and if they can be Sydney's client!  All the times!  This, even though Sydney has this blog telling writers all the bad things she likes to do!  Is good to be me!  Purrr!


But to these peoples I say, how does you know you is not already Sydney's client?  Sydney has found new thing!  All Sydney has to do is make some kind of contact with writer.  Could be email, or over-the-transom submission, or something handed to Sydney at writer's conference, if she went to writer's conferences, which she never does.  Anyway, all Sydney needs is to get hold of manuscript or proposal or pitch, or even just find out about submission writer has already made to publisher.


Then all Sydney has to do is keep writer hanging while she secretly sweeps in and takes over property!  Sydney can shop to publishers, chase foreign rights, even movie or TV rights, and tell writer nothing!  Even easier, if writer has already done much of the work!


Good thing is, Sydney has no obligations to "client!"  Does not have to return calls, or listen to their silly prattling about how they wants their work handled!  No agreements of any kind!  Sydney does what Sydney wants!  And if Sydney can not sell work, is not stuck with useless writer cluttering up her client list!  Far as they is concerned, they was never Sydney's client at all!  


But if Sydney does sell, then if Sydney does sell, most writers treats Sydney like hero!  Every once in while though, some silly writer complains that Sydney has sold property she had no rights to represent!  Some silly peoples says it is almost like stealing!  The nerves!


But, Sydney is just cute little cat (agent)!  Everybody forgives Sydney!  Sydney does not care if some stupid writers goes away mad.  They was never Sydney's client anyway!


Is good to be me!


PURRRRRRRRRR!


Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU! Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post! While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!  Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have!  Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!  Use this LINK to find shelter near you!  GO!  AGENT SYDNEY SAYS! If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Bad Agent Wisdom: Sydney is Neither Conflicted Nor Interested!

Sydney:

Yesterday reporter was by to talk to Sydney about her new "ebook pre-printification" program for clients. (We does not call it "publishing" silly peoples!)  


Works like this: Sydney sends client's books to "trained pre-printification specialists" in third-world country where orphans format into ebooks in exchange for handful of rice and moldy dates.  Then Sydney does the backbreaking job of uploading files to Amazon, Barnes & Nobel and other sites!  (Just kiddings!  Sydney has orphans do that part too!)


For this, Sydney takes only standard 20% of whatever sales she decides to report to clients, whenever she decides to report it!  Clients all think Sydney is hero! (Because this is what Sydney tells them to think, and clients mostly thinks what Sydney tells them to think!  Sydney LOVES this business!)


So, this reporter asks if Sydney Agency can possibly to the kind of professional job traditional New York publishers can!  SYDNEY IS ALL OVER THIS!  Sydney points out how sloppy and error filled many New York ebooks is!  Then Sydney explains to reporter moron how, after takes New York housing prices and cost of living into effect, SYDNEY'S ORPHANS ACTUALLY PAID MORE THAN THEIR EDITORS!  PURRR!


Sydney knows she made impression on reporter, because they was writing very fast, and kept breaking pencils!  Also how their left eye kept twitching!


So, yes, Sydney has been in press dissing traditional publishers and saying she can do better job for clients, traditional publishers where many is still expecting Sydney to sell their books!


Do not worries, clients!  Sydney does not think this will hurt your chances of selling to them!


Much.


And there is always "ebook pre-printification program" to fall back on.


PURRRRRRR!

 Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU! Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post! While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!  Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have!  Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!  Use this LINK to find shelter near you!  GO!  AGENT SYDNEY SAYS! If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Sydney:

Dear writers:


Sydney knows that sometimes is just too much work to sift through Sydney's blog looking for all her great writing and publishing wisdoms!  Sydney also knows that sometimes you might want to read Sydney's great writings without having the internets!


GOOD NEWS!  Sydney has come up with a profitable solution to your problem!  Sydney has now collected, illustrated, and updated all her wisdoms into one ebook, which YOU can buy with nothing but money!  GO BUY NOW!  (Some readers is already giving Sydney 5-star reviews, AND SHE DID NOT EVEN HAVE TO HURT THEM!)




Sydney's book is also available on Nook, Smashwords and other ebook outlets!  GO!


(Sydney is counting her moneys now!  PURRRRRRR!)


 Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU! Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post! While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!  Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have!  Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!  Use this LINK to find shelter near you!  GO!  


AGENT SYDNEY SAYS! If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Conflict of Interesting

Sydney:

Lately, Sydney is hearing a lot about agents and conflict of interests!  People is talking about how agents may have special relationships with publishers, or may not work in client's best interests if agent is also acting as a publisher.  
Sures, these is all conflicts of interest!  Sydney loves them all!


But there is other conflicts of interest that ALWAYS go on with agents, and people never thinks about!  These are Sydney's favorites, because nobody ever complains about them!  They is so deeply rooted in the agenting business they is invisible!  Is like money in the bank!


In fact, IS money in the bank Sydney is talking about!  See, all money flows through agent!  Publisher sends check!  Sydney cashes check plenty-quick!  Then, Sydney deducts her well-deserved 20% commission!  Finally, Sydney cuts check for rest of moneys and sends to writer!


But here is where conflict-of-interest comes on.  Writer's best interest is that Sydney should get money to writer as soon as possible! Agency law says agents first interest should be client's first interest...


But Sydney is just a little cat (agent), and does not study the law, much less obey it!  Sydney's interest is that money stays with Sydney as long as possible!  Sydney knows that "money in the bank" means "interest," and interest is money that STAYS in Sydney's bank!


So, if check comes in on Wednesday, Sydney cashes right away, but pretends not to get it until Friday.  If gets on Friday, can't log it in until Monday.  If does not log till Monday, cannot send to accounting until Tuesday.  But accounting person is taking personal days till Thursday.  Then authorization to cut check doesn't get on Sydney's desk till SECOND Friday.  Then Sydney cannot sign till Monday, but is in meetings all day, and is out of office on Tuesday and then everything is backed up on Wednesday and then signs on Thursday, but accidentally signs in wrong place, and accounting person doesn't find it becauses starts maternity leave, and then temp replacing her doesn't know where anything is...


Six weeks later, if writer even knows about money, if even suspects money exists, they is stuck staring at mail-box, wondering where money is!  If they calls, Sydney says, "the check's in the mail!"  Thanks-you crappy USPS!  Sydney can always blames it on you!  "Oh," says Sydney,
"you should have it by now!  Sydney will send another check soon as can get paperwork through!  Only accounting person just started two year sabbatical in Tibet!  May be slight, delay!"


Meanwhile, Sydney's "conflicted interest" is turning into "compounded interest!"   See!  Sydney makes clever joke!  HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! 


You got that check yet?


Is good to be me!


PURRRRR!




 Bad Agent Sydney wants to hear from YOU! Please leave your queries, questions, or comments! Perhaps Sydney's response will inspire a future post! While Bad Agent Sydney is not taking on new clients at this time, she is well aware that ALL WRITERS NEED CAT SUPERVISION!  Little known fact that this instinctive talent that ALL cats have!  Writers (and everyone want to be writer!), do to local shelter and ADOPT HOMELESS KITTY TODAY!  Use this LINK to find shelter near you!  GO!  AGENT SYDNEY SAYS!

 If you found this post useful or fun, please be aware that Sydney has NEEDS! Toys. Catnip. TUNA! Support Sydney (and her people) by digging deep and sending a "thank-you" donantion her way. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (You cannot resist my hypnotic "pay up!" purr! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!